my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER...

Friday, November 30, 2007

REFLECTIONS.. about.. LIFE?
WARNING: HIGHLY LITERATURISED

haha by looking at the title, should guess by now this is a rather solemn entry.. or rather.. a reflective entry so pardon my sudden change of mood from the last entry! yikes. i suddenly realised from all past entries that my mood would suddenly swing from HIGH in nov to LOW in dec.. isit due to the weather or smthg? ahh. i dunno!

anyway, first of all.. i was thinking about.. the depth of certain friendships.. OK PEOPLE who don wanna feel emo then SHOO! haha.. but well.. on the surface, some people i talk and laugh my lungs out with seem to know me soo well, but i mean, truly.. how few friends can really understand me inside out? how many can tolerate my nonsense yet be truthful? friends are just like chocolates.. some give u that sense of warm assurance while others are passing bursts of flavour. (wow, to think i made up that quote? ) hmm. was wondering.. out of so many people, who belongs to what category.. like you know pri sch kids when we write in pple's autograph books, who is BEST fren, GOOD fren or OKOK type! maybe classification does the work but nooo i don think we should classify since, i believe every passerby or aquantaince you meet can have the potential of being your CLOSE fren one day! well.. who knows right?

haha.. talking about that.. reminds me of someone.. actually, whether bonds btw frens are strong depend very much on the way communication is being carried out and the form of communication. Some frens u know u can talk to when you are feeling soo hyper and they'll share your joy but after the Hyperness.. can they share ur sorrows to the same extent? perhaps my definition of frenship has gone a step further.. or maybe im demanding too much? in any case, i think this is very subjective since sometimes, you might feel at ease even talking acquaintances you meet at a bus stop, or restaurant blahs..., and in your subconscious mind you know that this acquaintance gives you that warm assurance and thus, u would be willing to develp that frenship further. hahah oh gosh, i hear SNORES! i know its getting sleepy here! so on a lighter note, i think... no matter what, go with your instincts!

some frens claim to be good frens when you know instinctively what they're telling you are a pack of lies. what they say are just excuses, what they do are so superficial! sadly, i have seen many people being fooled by such frens! and i can only lament, but who knows, i might also be the victim of such seemingly harmless "frens"? Whatever the situation, i guess, believe in GOD and believe in yourself... sometimes.. overly pessimistic people like me really does make the world a nastier place to live in so from today onwards, i shall TRY to trust, at least i will learn to trust my instincts!

good luck to people out there having frenship problems and.. one advice, BELIEVING makes chocolates tastier! ahahha..

~sukai

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Saturday, November 24, 2007

KINGONE!! MY ONE AND ONLY KING!

wahhh.. i had to blog today! no matter how tired i am cos of MY KING! hahha im so obsessed over him now!! faints.. then my darling mike how??? faints. nvm. i shall be fickle and like BOTH! wakakka.. anyway, today supposed to meet jess at 1230pm but in the end she reached at 1plus so i decided to go talk to the King's FC people first! yep then met up with them and chatted with this fren jesrene! haha! my new fren! TW CHASER! wahh gd liao.. i gt companion! hahaha then we queued from like 1plus when the autograph session supposed to start at 530pm?? wahhh. supposed to meet jess for neoprints and stuff but in the end.. my darling sis had to go home early all cos of me.. and ... i feel super guilty. faints. i will definitely make up for this man!! SIS!! forgive me k!!! dont angryyy please... actually, i think jess is really.. VERYYYY PATIENT, SWEET, TOLERANT, FORGIVING! cos if any of my frens were to do that to me.. i'll immediately blow my top!!! hahaha so thankEW jess.. u know.. i really think I need to give u A HUGE HUG!

yep so queued with a few new found frens, jesrene, jazzy, zhong li, jasslyn? oh man! so many J! ahhaha and yar we chatted, had fun.. and was like self entertainment session? hahaha but it was cool! cos its my FIRST time gg to an autogrph session ALONE! and i didnt feel ALONE! wahhh thanks to those peeps! haha yep, then BY came and i passed him his present. haha he gave me smthg so useless but thanks its the thought that counts! haha yep, think he gt a shock too cos i was mixing ard with a bunch of.. (idunno what frens) oh well.. u know BY.. gtta get use to this when u chasing stars alone. hahha.. relax.

yep! then finally! MY KING ARRIVED!!! nt LATE CAN! 545pm!!! waaaa so touched.. usually stars come 1hr late. faints. hahaha then he sang his lovely huan huan ai! then he played games! wahhh throout the entire thing he was sooo cheeky! keep poking fun at the DJ and like making the audience high!! he ALSO electrocuted me la!!! dian dao!!!! cos i wave ma!! then he stare at me and wave back!! waaaaa.. my entire heart suddenly... FLY LIAO! hahaha then my fren beside me HIGHHHH also and say: WAAA HE WAVE TO U LEH!!!!! then i !!!!! HIGHHH!!!
ok.. u cannot imagine how great was the experience. shiok!

hmm.. then autogrph time! so we queued and like when it was my turn, i let him sign, then say chuan yi.. for you! and i told him to jia you!! guess wad he replied! YI DING HUI!!! and he stared into my eyes until my eyes can burn a hole liao hahaha then shook my hand! WAAA. MELTING!!!!!!!! this is worse than global warming la.. hahhaha WHEE!! guess who i saw too?? ANGELA!!! hahah so long never see her.. so went to hug her!! hahah hope she can go hk with me or jx!!! hahah fung fung fung! hahaha altho now i more towards tw.. dont kill me! hahahah then saw my long lost fren too!! that time like ANDREW LIEN with her, BERYL! previously we were super close! still rmb she would write letters to me on my bday, and she even bot a concert ticket from me for band night in sec sch!! faints! hope to meet her one day with jermaine HAHA!!!!

yep overall im 95% happy with my decision to go for this autogrph session! 5% lacking cos.. first my stupid cam is bad. IM GONNA CHANGE IT! cos i was overly high then kept screaming so my hand kept shaking when i take fotos! then all turn out blur?? only some not blur!!! like FREAK! but nvm. i think the experience is gg to be with me for a lifetime!!! hahaha so fotos don really mean anything!! but well.. my KING IS THE BEST! he still can joke that he looks like andy lau or mike... faints. his side view more like christopher lee?? hahaha =X but his crappyness is like mike i guess!! and another thing. 5% cos i didnt get to go on stage play game!!! U KNOW HE HUGGED THE WINNER OF THE GAME?!!!! like hello! i would be in hospital now if the winner was me! can i even ask him to do CPR? ok. fine. im dreaming. mad woman speaking here.pls ignore.

haahah yay! im happy.. very happy! so that's it! to make it short and sweet for my darling JESS to read it before her malaysia trip! im sooo gg to miss you k! and i know how fantastically SWEET, NICE and fabulously FORgiving u are!!! so please i wan my present -- and that is.. come back early!!!!!!!! and sms me when u're there!! look forward to our DATES!!!! yay! love!

~sukai

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

MOODY... but..MEGA MESSAGES to all my love ones

been feeling super emo lately.. super frustrated and crying a lot.. i dunno why but after A's... my entire system is experiencing some severe breakdown.. i cannot really point out what is wrong with myself yet i have that urge to cry. yet i feel so tight in the chest that i wanna scream. yet.. yet.. ive been looking for someone who can really tell me.. what's wrong with me.. its that.. weird feeling i dunno how to get rid and.. somehow.. it makes me paranoid. it makes me insecured. argh. i dont like this at all. the more i watch shows.. the more i relax then more intense is the funny feeling. go away man. i don wanna be tormented anymore.

for now.. im trying to detach myself frm feeling that way. the only method is to numb myself, keep gg out with my frens, chatting online.. BUT NOT WATCH SHOWS.. esp tw shows.. cos it makes me feel that way and i dunno why. sigh. ok basically today's the end of A's but i dont feel that tinge of happiness. which i dunno why. altho gg out with SUM and XUan made me happy!! cos we ate sakae sushi and talked so much and shopped! im officially broke.. and.. went for some (sugar and spice) movie.. hahaha yeah.. it was great. at least it numbed me a little.. and at least.. im happier.. so thanks to them! thereafter.. went out with mum to buy winter clothes.. heh. so puffy and ma fan to try.. but bought a few useful things!

yep! and thro'out this tough period.. really stressful period.. i really have to thank a few close frens who are constantly by my side.. supporting me and encouraging me! so here are the long awaited MEGA MSGS!

JX: my dearest dearest! u know.. after i read your msg i really cried out. like.. all the tears just flowed down so naturally. cos.. seriously.. i have been bottling too much up. which is bad i know.. but i cant help it.. the reason.. only u and jess will know why! oh well.. i just wanna say.. a BIG BIG THANKS! for.. for.. u know.. everything. cos everything u did or said made me feel soo much better. made me feel that its worth all the hard work.. and i seriously hope we can be bestiest frens forever!! and i must apologise if i ever was selfish or inconsiderate cos i know sometimes i myself will keep gg on and on abt stuff... and u don really like it.. so im sorry. i know u have been sacrificing so much for our hk trip and for me.. so i really. feel v heart ache to see you so tired and getting sick.. just wanna let you know.. I WILL do the same for u if u need me/my ears! thanks again for.. SUPPORTING ME when i really need you. like last yr hk.. i cried to u on the fone.. i appreciate that u were there.. i really do! so thanks!

CS: this annoymous person is a quiet supporter! haha she makes me happy everytime i talk to her cos o feel v safe and cared for... yeah. pple who know.. she's my elder sis! haha i wanna thank her for everything good that happened to me.. for.. her constant support and no matter what i know she always puts me as first priority and im really thankful for that! she makes me laugh, makes me cry and never fails to kek me!! haha yeah she's the other person i can cry my hearts out too! altho she, like jx, would feel so awkward!! but.. it means that im comfy with you guys!! haha. to be able to cry in front of someone unfamiliar is soo funny. so.. is only that i consider u as my best fren that's why im able to cry in front of you!

XS: yes my dear seafood clan member! u are here. haha dunno if u still read my blog but.. i jus wanna thank u for the constant smses of encouragement! and no matter what, we really have left the past behind and im glad! actually.. u are the best person in the gang to talk to when im feeling down cos i dunno why but u always seem to give me matured and sensible advice! which i cherish! so thanks dear!

SUM/XUAN: i haven forgt u two!!! ahhaha thanks for the happy hours! and.. altho exams times i seem very distant from u two.. but i know that u guys would be there for me when i need you! so thanks from the bottom of my heart!

JESS: my dearest best best best sis in the world! heh. ur lovely last msg.. u once said the last is the best! so here is ur msg! well, 4years alr.. and yet.. we are still best sis! hee. what u said on msn made me realise.. that ive really gt another pillar of support and for some reason.. ur words have this calming effect.. haha no doubt u are a crazyyy tvb addict but i seriously think ur advice is addictive! altho i dunno how long forever will be cos i might be flying overseas then we might lose contact, i sincerely hope not! u are really very impt to me cos i must say.. it feels as if u are always here. esp when i need to talk.. ur sms reply will be fastest.. so next time.. when im suicidal.. i'll call u ah. rmb pick!!! haha...k.. tmr is our outing day and i hope we can play to our hearts content yeah??? love u!!!

~sukai

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Sunday, November 18, 2007

TRIO OUTING!!! and... my new love(S)!

whee! just finish watchin epi18 of devil beside you and it rocks!!! sooo exciting and funny and touching and SO MUCH LIKE ISWAK!!! im highly recommending it to EVERYONE!!! cos its soo much more thrilling!!!! like faints! and of cos.. i realised that im such a flower heart. cos.. i added another 2 more favourites to my TW LIST!!! and of cos. u might think im mental but ive gt one HK list and one TW one!!! all cos of my dearest jx.. ask me to like tw! see la! now my heart wanna no space liao!! how! hahaha but yeah.. my tw list consist of ... MIKE(of cos), kingone(the other guy in why why love/devil who likes miss rainie) and... JOE AND ARIEL! hah! i seriously think mike can act super well.. cos no matter in wad show and with any female lead.. he seems to be like.. sooooooo compatible with all of them!! look. first rainie then ariel then hebe?!?! oh man. my darling rocks! =X this is called... yi xiang qing yuan(in chinese)

okkk! so let me spam some nice fotos of them! heh! and... i would like to declare that im a 50-50 hk/tw fan!!! whoolala!! HIGH!!! the devil show makes me high la!!!

basically.. u might think its smoochy or overly drama but.. well.. the show really made my heart race a zillion times! and mike seems like a goody guy who i think should be considered extinct by now??? hah! where in the world would guys be so understanding and... warm and sweet. oh gosh. ITS JUST A SHOW!!!!(slap me)

this one is with kingone! wahahahha so DRAMA! but nice angle.. is this director some theatre guy?? seems likes he's all out to play with angles that keep pple in suspense! like.. what would happen next??? then flash! ur heart would be racing and dying to see the next scene. faints. ive gt a weak heart.

ok so here's my darling. officially. im gg to like him. and my mum think's he looks so much more guai(obedient) than kingone. like.. HAHHAA. of cos. he's sooo shuai and nice.. i really hope i can see him someday! wishful thinking?? (JX fulfil my wish for me la!! SAVE $ go tw!)

alrighto!!! when pple are all ready to chiong for physics mcq this tues.. im here.. catching devil. and.. gg out with my gang. faints. heard a lot of my frens saying wa.. they did alot. but me.. slacker!!! big fat slacker!! nuts. i dunno why.. but.. altho i feel the stress.. i also feel the urge to let go! although i cant.. for now. but! i will study!! just not excessive.. hahaha so pple out there! don make me stress by saying u were productive man!

SUNDAYY! which is today.. went out with my darlings! jess and jx.. whee... first was k box! heh. saw my kingone k union session.. URGH. i gt the urge to go leh. but.. jx was rite.. he's jus a star. like. waste money.. haix. i dunno. sometimes i think chasing star is so meaningless.. but.. i cant help but like him?!?! so im still thinking shud i go for his autograph session.. haix. but if jx has work and ive gtta high alone.. it'll be so meaningless=( so.. guess.. wont have the chance to see him. oh well. no fate. wad can i say? haix.

yup after our k session we went for shopping session!! bot a nice nice jacket for 29bucks jx bot a pair of cool shoes! and that day i spend 238 bucks on like some tops!!! oh gOsh. i think.. i need to save up! heh. but retail therapy after A's really does relieve stress! yup then we walked the whole of sunctec until my feet were sore.. cos i wore heels.. yikes! and i was practically starving. hahaha so we had dinner at... PIZZA HUT!!! ordered like.. so much. 3 pastas, 2soups, 2 drinks, 1reg pizza, 1 seafood platter. GOSH. it was so hard to finish everything. and.. we didnt finish as expected. almost couldnt stand up and walk after eating. cos.. felt like rolling!! haha. then yup.. it was bye bye time!! had so much fun with them really!!! altho time was rather short.. it was sweet! and... i really. really.. must thank both girls here.. so.. after this entry, maybe after my A's.. i would post mega msg for all those pple im really grateful to! hehhe.

reached home at 8plus.. immediately switched to ch56 to see if why why love was still on! and i got a glimpse of my darlings!!! mike rocks. he's ever so cool! yeah. but.. im seriously gg to either rent the whole series or buy it cos i cant wait for scv to air 2 epi per week. like.. agonizing!!! hahaha. okkkk so that's all!!! promise will have more fotos for my next entry! tata!

~sukai

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

TIRED! MENTAL EXHAUSTION

geez. its half way thro my A's and ive decided to give myseld a total break for 1 day so im here to blog again! justified? oh well.. today once i reach home after math paper i jus watched tv, watched clips and chat chat chat! slacker me!!! argh. dunno why my headache is not gone despite taking one panadol. eek. luckily there's no paper tmr if not how to do well with that pounding headache warning me that my brain might explode any min?!!

ohhh i actually intend to blog a long entry but.. im sooo tired.. so i shall jus write briefly what happened! in fact.. lets recap.. in brief! actually i think overall A's is ok ok la.. except for GP which i think is scary cos u wouldnt know if u can score anot since ur marks are very much subjected to the person marking ur paper! the rest of the sub went on pretty smoothly.. just hope i do not make any silly mistakes! gosh.. i have 5days to mug or SLACK! before the start of the horror.. which is.. double paper day and 3 days non stop! arghh.. pls let it pass fast! and let my headache go away. shoo.

anyway, throughout this whole torturous period, im really touched that i have a few friends who have been encouraging me! so i would like to thank them and wish them all the best too! heh.. i seriously think i shud be barred frm using comp!!! now, ive added 2 more favourites into my HIGH list!!! hahaha one is my LALALALAAAAAA and the other is linda!! wheee. both pretty gals.. hahahah and officially.. my list is..

nancy,myo,ah yi,lala,linda,fung,bosco,derek...........(see the dots?) means.. MORE TO COME!!! dont faint ah. but yeah.. i loveeee them! hee im promising myself i would rent TFL after A's! and catch HOG + WOILS2! its a promise man. so lookinf forward to it! YAYY

okkkayy now this little corner is for my msg to my darlings:

JX: my dear jie jie!!!! uuuuu really made me so gan dong leh. although u dont leave msg here i still feel ur presence?!(boo) and yes, i dunno how to thank u but i really wanna say XIE XIE for ur every ounce of encouragement! u must jia you for functions too ah! after A's i help u and jess! its a promise! add oil!!! TURBO!

Jess: my DARLING SIS! hee like wad viv calls nancy? hahaha we are so like them!! like viv-nancy and nancy-myo! so good leh they can go concert tgt! wheee.. hee hee. i know ur secret ah.. hahhaa u also wanna enter lala land right. HEE HEE.. then we'll see each other there! aiyoo u know u veryyy cute leh. ask me wad's nancy's full name! then u made a super nice blogskin for me! touched leh.. awww. thanks k! IM SO HONOURED that u sacrificed ur show for me! thanks alot my dear!!! u made my LIFE better. not made my day.. is MY LIFE!! loves!

~sukai

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;