my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER...

Saturday, October 28, 2006

whee. just came back from stay over at meisum's hse yesterday! it was so fun!! and like there are loads and loads to say cos me px and ms spent more than 24 hrs tgt! whee. im so happy all of a sudden.. u see, the kbox session, the shopping for groceries, the bbq walking up and down but no food, the shower, the self pics, the late night talks and movies! oh man! my life rawked the world all of a sudden. just this once i felt so free and happy. but then. came the alcohol notes. and guess wad. my mood dipped a little. plus tmr's pw meet up and monday's pw dry run. im gonna be sian all the way. help.

really have loads to say about my stay over and this morning's sleeping thg. ahahha funny bunch of sea creatures we are. X) ok btw guys, ive got a new love. oh i mean hk idol! he is JACK WU!!!!! hey its nt JACKY WU frm TW ok. its HK. he's uber shuai and totally cool. mans, really really my eye candy cum idol cum everythg! hhahaha.

hmm. dunno if im gg hk this yr. daddy says go other places better but i wanna chase them*!!!
1) fung.yi
2) hang yee.bosco
3) Melissa.Jack
4) Bernice.Hz

is that all? like rather little hahahaha. but nvm. just go there see see also can. and i dun mind charmaine sheh and gigi or shirley. hahaha actually im starting to love the whole of tvb. wahhh. hard time chasing all eh. hahaha nvm. if this yr cant chase then next yr. X)

~sukai~

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Saturday, October 21, 2006

went for a brillant haircut! with wash and treatment. some say my hair looks rebonded but seriously i didnt do any rebonding at all!!! maybe its jus the treatment. but anw, i think i look different. VERYY different. hah! but nonetheless clarissa said it was cool! ms jus laughed. eek. i think its not too bad for a change. X)

im so frustrated doing pw cos some crap grp member of mine refused to be contacted and didnt do his part for the OP slides so i cannot compile!!! wad the! im so upset. nvm. he's just another WC. irritating useless member.

somethg else made me feel weird today. and kinda irritated too. one of my frens(a guy) he was so oversensitive! like wad did i do? i didnt even say/hint/talk to him for eons. and yarh. made me pretty upset cos i only thought of him as a fren. so now, i have so decided nt to talk to him anymore and distance myself frm him. i hate oversensitive pple! like look at wilson! i always say i love u! i miss u! but both of us know that we're jus very gd frens fullstop. and he's my "daddy". yeah. why cant other guys be like that? im so glad wilson doesnt behave like that. X) he rawks.

so yes, guys are just a bunch of crazy confusing peeps. i dun understand. they can jus let go of a fren like that. this reminds me of someone(a sagitarius) whom i constantly avoid in sch. eye.im so glad he has graduated. whew.

okay i gotta go back to slog for pw. gt my script to write! tons of stuff! yikes!

~sukai

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Friday, October 20, 2006

WHEE WHOO OOOSH! got back my results today and i really got a heartattack! but its a pleasant surprise cos i gt better grades then i expected and yes! i did improve! even with more time spent on tv and online! how can that be? miracles happen really! especially for my dear math. u shud have seen how many pages of blanks and ?? i put. its crazy and YET YET i got AN A!!!!!!!! MAN! i asked my fren to pinch me can to see if i was dreaming. then i was screaming internally. so so so hysterical! X)

okayyy i kept sms ing pple to tell em about the good news!! hahah cos i was sooo worried sick frm yesterday until ive been complaining alot. so yar alot of my frens said that i was too gan chiong. and i do agree! but... i think lady luck was with me all the time so many thanks! X) hahah. the first thg in the morning we got back econs. my overall was a B.. quite a pleasant surprise. then was chem! another pleasant pleasant uber happy surprise!! hahaha cos i got B again. hahaha then overall think is still B or at least i hope. hahahah then then it was physics! for promos i got A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my my my. my dear mr chan. i just wanna say i love u. hahahah and im so starting to love phy more and more. so motivated X) then gt back my dear GP!!! pls pray that ms wan don propose the 30/70 thg. if nt i'll get a C. but now! with va, i gt a nice borderline B. WHOOts! sooooooooo uber happy that i treated my dear dear seafood clan at island creamary! hehehe... we ate mudpie and hot choco fudge? hahahah soooo nice but i was too bz smsing my fairy god mother. he's so evil... but nvm la. at least he helped me for phy (g/e) and econs. a bit. and my dear wilson daddy!!!! thanks for ur morale support! of cos of cos, i love my seafood clan until bits! hahahah they rawk. although im so gonna be squeezed dry of my money cos i owe them treats.

okayyy, me too happy to write!! gonna watch dvd! finally i can put my mind at ease! and go enjoy my holi altho there's a whole load of hw waiting for me to complete. wont start to touch that pile until after OP!! oh no. i realised PW's I and R first draft is due so soon. gotta do it after this week's tech run. X)

alrightooo, im offf! thanks to all other frens who gave me morale support.confidence and help!

~sukai

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Sunday, October 15, 2006

such irony. guys keep saying we gals are confusing but in fact they themselves do not realise that they are actually more mind boggling than any math sum on earth! i simply do not understand how does a male brain function. forget about the incident i mentioned in my last entry about that silly guy who no longer is of any importance to me, today, another guy jus amused me by his way of thinking. "if u like her, concern enuff" was what some guy said to me on msn(i better not mention his name). i very much would like to know if all guys think that way.. is opening up to a gal that hard? i mean, on the basis that both of u are good friends alr, and yes, she even took the initiative (as u said) to talk to u on msn MANY times!! like. wad do u expect a gal to do more? go up to u and tell u straight in the face, hey dude, u know, i really like u so much. and if the poor gal is down on her luck, she might suffer the fate of getting rejected and humiliated in public because of being such a loose woman? wake up dude. no decent gal is ever gonna do that i bet!

so here comes to the issue of being aunt agony for my dear pals. am i given some kinda special treatment or fee?? hahaha. in any case, i say, "if u like her, tell her that" if u are the shy types, go for the hinting technique(need i teach u that?) if not, just tell her directly(if u feel that she likes u too) NEVER EVER be afraid of rejection if not i can guarantee u'll make no improvement. feelings do fade with time and its never the same after u and the gal starts to distance urself frm each other because of the awkwardness ... so dude, grasps this opportunity and dun let love slip by! cherish and take action please.

now now, such a long entry jus for that silly dude. u better treat me to good food X) anw, since im alr on this topic, i shall jus ramble on.. actually, i dunno where to start, suddenly all these weird feelings are welling up again. its always him but now its really impossible. my frens always tell me to be contented. yes i am, but this is another feeling. this is a feeling of loss. u just dunno how to place him in ur memories. sweet? too idealistic, bitter? not so. HAIX. wad can i do but sigh? now that i tell myself i dun consider him as a fren, i shudnt even think abt him. ok. GOD pls let me LET GO.

gt loads to say but its kinda late, shall continue tmr or smthg. GOOD LUCK PEEPS for everythg!

~sukai
gone is the twilight, yet u'll still find me there at the tavern, watching the glimmering stars

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Friday, October 13, 2006

i gt lots to sayyyy! about my day out with jess.grace.veron etc.... hahaha!! went to chase kevin and ah ben yesterday and it was sooo shiok!!!! both also so cute! oh well, have soooo many thgs to say cos i was out the whole day. but just to get somethg off my chest. some stupid guy fren of mine is such spoilers. he just irks me now. u see, we used to be quite close, is like he will call me and stuff but i dunno whyyy seriously, after i didnt pick some of his calls and like didnt really give him a definite response, he jus dao ed me. he like dun even reply my smses now and prev on msn. not as if i care but cant he jus be a man? so petty! oh man. grow up. now i dun think i would wanna have such a sucky fren. lyke, imagine, take u for granted. oh gosh. this kinda guys just suck so much that i jus wanna scream! to think i considered him to be a good fren. haix. such disappointment. all the love previously have turned into hate and utter disappointment. yes, the fact that i used love, or maybe not that intense, was present. just a few steps to go. but we didnt make it. guess it was cupid's doing again. maybe good or bad. but i cant be bothered with him now!! may i know why am i feeling in such a way? in just 6mths. the feeling jus changed. so drastically. X(

spoilers spoilers right? forget it. now i see him i treat him as if he was transparent and yes. he means nthg to me now. i shall let go. and i can! this im sure.

okayy must be happy! so let's talk abt yesterday! hmm, met jessica at somerset mrt! went to makan and bought some pressies for dear ben and kevin! then later we went to hyatt hotel to find kevin! he was there with grace, veron's fren and like wearing this cute tweety bird shirt! whoo. and a cool cap. nice~ then so amusingly, we followed him to mariott hotel!! later in the night we're gg there for ben's wedding maaa!!! so shiok! and finally, the best time was here!!! we joked so much with kevin, did some cute poses(someone still said i can act. suan me right? oh fine) hahahha then later we three(me grace js) like keep hoevering ard kevin!!! talk alot and js snapped loads of great fotos!! he did a self take pic for us too!!! shiok!! turned out nicely! X)

then we went up to find ben ben!!! guess wad! his wife, claudia jie was so pretty!!! we saw many stars too like adam chen( took pic wif him), pan ling ling and husband, adrian pang, quan yifeng and family, ericia and ezann etc..!!! hahahah mark lee and pan ling ling's wife joked with us too laaahh it was hilarious!!!!! shud have taken a video clip on tt. heh. i love star chase! so exciting!

then we saw ben. my my my. he was pointing fingers to me!! hahah then i said ben jia you! then kevin followed suit!!! so cute! then ben did some add oil action and i followed!! i kept laffing too la. then gt "scolded" by him can!! he said " laugh la laugh la. still laugh some more!~" or smthg to tt effect!!! so farnieeeee hahahaha. had a superb day out!!!!! then gt to know some fans too!! they're really NICE like veron(my EQ very high hor longest tongue woman?!! =P)

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Monday, October 09, 2006

all of a sudden, he just reminds me of someone.something. ...that happened so long ago. i dunno why but all those weird memories of untouched sorrows and unsaid words seemed so near yet so far. its so surreal. that vague instinct just urged me to think of the deep seated memories that were too raw yet etched in my mind so so clearly.. and i really wonder, have i indeed gotten over someone.something?

the past is nothing but the present and the future beholds bleak surprises. all i can say is that history does repeat itself. no matter how hard i try, how much effort i put in to make sure this goes right, nothing will ever go right. why? because of the past. the past is holding me down, telling the future what surprises i should receive. i feel so cheated sometimes because once, just that once, i thought indeed i've overcomed my worst fears, my darkest hour and finally saw that glow of fresh hope and lush green grass. but nahhs. illusions. simply illusions.

so now, i tell myself, i can, i will and i must get over this. no matter what happened in the past, it will never reflect the present or future. but can i? if only someone understands. if only...

~sukai "the past is traces left behind by the claws of a swan goose"

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Saturday, October 07, 2006

woah. the haze is getting so bad that its starting to irritate my throat so much. suddenly i feel sick and im havin this itchy cough coupled with incessant sneezing. geez. bad weather made me sick. utterly gross. must the wind blow in this direction and blacken the lungs of people living here? urgh, my throat is so bad. i think i gotta rest early if not i'll be down and out really soon. why cant GOD at this crucial time give us some showers of blessings? please GOD we need no showers but storms!

anw, today was so tiring. walked so much until my feet went sore. ah! i seriously dunno how am i gonna squeeze all the events in one tiny segment here. gosh. well, i shall make it super brief! one sentence. it was POOF! marvellous, wonderful, beautiful, enjoyable, funky, corny, juicy and of cos exciting! hahahaha done. snapped loads of nice pixies but but. not uploaded yet so you peeps gotta wait. will be uploaded to frenster real soon!

gosh, i realised its gonna be monday soon which sparks the start of a whole dreadful chunk of PW sessions, presentations, reports. oh gosh. they do kill u know. even i, the most venomous snake of all will be running for my life!(ah yes, me born in the yr of the snake) geez geez. when will i have complete freedom? life is getting so boring and by the start of next yr, it'll be getting uber stressful(A levels mah) so when exactly am i truthfully free?! grr. the thought of it makes me wanna puke. alrights alrights, i shall not think too much and stress myself unnecessarily.

yubbers, im freaking tired anw so shall turn in early today. take care of ur lungs peeps. bad weather i say.

~sukai -- when ur lungs start turning grey. u know, its time u stop talking or breathing.

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Friday, October 06, 2006

HAPPY MOONCAKE FESTIVAL EVERYONE!

i have been in a superb mood since this morning! slept at 230am last night, er which is this morning and chatted with my happy doc bryan while he was doing his report! my gosh, to think at those wee hours he could come up with some weird amalgation of english words! i must really say he's good. hahah i simply said nocturnal tortoise(cos he commented that he is such a slow person when it comes to doing reports) and spoof! he came up with a brillantly cool name for himself -- NOCTURTLE(sounds like nocturnal). wow. im impressed. and yes, of all the peeps in the world, he came to ask me some chmalogified question on mircosoft words and adobe. hah! guys, u know, im such an idiot at computer stuff so he was so wrong to ask. well, guess he has learnt his lesson. thanked me somemore. hahaha. good one doctor. oh well, our convo was rather short but indeed interesting! and yes, one interesting fact, carlsberg can keep him awake. wow. ive gotta try that when i turn 18!

yes yes, spoke to my dear mother aka JX online last night. again, she was surfing the net for her tw fav. oh fine, she just made me happy by saying that we're going for a kbox session after my js's exams are over! i kinda miss her actually and really do hope that she can come with us to hk. although it might be just a wish.(ms chang e, did u hear my wish?) hhahah.

geez, today was a spiffy day! went out for retail theraphy and ended up burning my mum's pockets. bought a skirt and top plus shoes! but paid hundred over in total for all of em. went to topshop and found a skirt and top that looks marvellous but cos the prices were sky high so ended up not buying. oh well! its alright.

yes yes, basically, i slept so much and watched tons of tv and shopped till my mum flopped(cos of the amt she needed to fork out aka my expenses) hahaha. and tmr im going to meet up with my dear sister! so happy alright. although we wouldnt have dinner tgt as usual cos she has to pick up her mum frm airport, i believe we would enjoy ourselves!!

arghh. i cant stand it! everytime my brain keeps thinking of monday. dreadful! school's gonna start and im so not prepared for pw sessions or even lessons. gross. cant wait for holi to come. yet when holis come i will dread the start of 2007 cos its A's. looking at my seniors all working so hard and stressing themselves out whilst im enjoying myself here and typing letter my letter in my blog just makes me feel queasy. yucks. A's so soon! scaryy.

nvm nvm, i shall slp soon. and i dunno where bryan went to cos he didnt reply. hah! i know. to shang yue! with a plastic lantern that has music right? hahaha... kae la. i always disturb him when he's bz, so cant blame him. hahaha afterall he's my happy doc. X) alrights, enough of talk, i shall go wash up and zzz. nights!

~sukai dun be afraid, i'll be there for you.

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

WHEW! its over finally.. promos i mean... after hours of slogging and not quite a lot of hard work, its over jus in a jiffy. kinda relieved but not really happy or experiencing outbursts like i did after my o's. anw, i think i seriously screwed up math. how how. my math sucks like crazy. its like. i think i can barely pass. so god help me.(although its too late) nvm. let me seek solace hoping that there'll be some kind of divine intervention.

okayy, today was physics paper. i think i did badly for mcq too. gosh. i jus guessed my way through. never felt so lousy b4 doin mcqs la. i shd jus go bang my head against the wall or smthg right. hahaa. oh well. then for the next part, i also half screwd it cos of the freaking circular motion question. i jus got confused so i think whole part wrong. and a lot others i shant continue harping on wad is done. gross gross gross.

alright! now for the fun fun part! the N4 aka noisy 4 went out again! so long since we've been out. me and ms went to taka crystal jade eat first, then ordered lyke quite a lot but we managed to finish 90%!!! yay! achievement X) then later px came to join us then we walked a lot, went kino, went some ulu place to get ms's mum's mouth wash, then went cine check for timing for movie and buy presents for someone la. who else but that pig(my fairy god mother)!ohyes! movie. it was such a hilarious.cute.touching movie!!! jackie chan and louis koo's new film! wa damn nice. still gt a lot other stars(shuai ones) nic tse, daniel wu and andrew lien!!!! my gosh. i didnt know they did act in the show la. hahaha such a great time watchin the show! okkk then we took neoprints, and had fun "rotating anticlockwise" huh! hahaha...then then, went to the old marche and had a sumptous dinner. gt meat, seafood, soup and one extra not meat not soup food. ahahahha wa full like mad. and spent a lot somemore. but nvm! i was happy!!! we totally walked like dozens of miles ard orchad somerset area today until ive decided not to visit that area anymore this week is i can. hahahaha.

oh no. i realised i hafta study for chem spa on thurs by tmr afternoon cos wont have time to study le. sians. hate it, its lyke after exams le no total break. how nice. argggggh. and dunno why. i think someone is getting more and more pissifiying la. and yes, jia you bryan for ur report. sorry ah everytime i talk to u when u bz. yet u still talk to me. very wei da. thankew thankew, but still sorryy la. next time bz then say kae. X) all the best and try to have fun too for ur 1 wk break! (ok doubt u will read/haf time to read but nvm!)

alrights, i dunno why after the movie i have this splittting headache tht wouldnt go away. so ate panadol jus now. now feeling better. and my mum wants me to sleep early. so i think b4 1230 im gg off. yay tmr no sch. but needa pia chem spa. equally bad. oh no. im becoming pessimistic. everytime sigh. cannot cannot. must be hyper and happy like... BRYAN! my happy doc cum role model. hhaha( wah, help him promote again). kaee, gtg. off and away!

~SUKAI when he's the right person but its not the right time

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;