my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER...

Sunday, November 30, 2003

*the winter breeze drifts by with devotion*

heyx pple! wad a nice weather today..purrfect for goin to the beach or riding a bike....relaxing mann.
haix. dunno wad to write but everytime i wanna write sumthing, my mind would be filled with all the past unhappy memories. why? aiyo i m trying real hard to brush them aside but they just stay there. =imprinted foreva= wellx, wad to do? all i can do for the moment is to look forward to my trip!! yippee i wanna take lotsa pix then return to spore to share with my sista *jess* and kor kor.s ahha..not forgettin manda* i betta write her name or she will definitelf bash me up the next time we meet. lolx. cool it. anywayz, i dunno wad's there in china for me cos i heard the scenary there is breathtaking and practically, like those dreamland kinda thing esp if we were to go in dec. haha..i dunnoo...really super eager *feeling fanatic* ahha alrites, i guess i wont be blogging for lyke so many days and i really dun know if i will miss blogging..haha...it became a habit already...oh wells, great that saleena didnt get into 3/1 or i would have screamed my head off...saleena is also pleased to stay in 3/1 so i guess all of us are happy pple!! ahhaa oh yarh..debby will be goin 3/2 too so yeahhh.. one more person frm our class!

i dunno why i m just feeling jovial now...hahaa oh mann, must cool it. haha... gosh, btw, i havent even completed my aep and hcl hw yet lors. wad a spoiler. come back frm holi still have to do...omg. haha..hate hw. during holis. anywayz, i m goin to do some last minute packing now!! hehe...okies thks for pple who wished me bon voyage and yupps, jus to add: yesterday's band was super fun..hahah with anne around and gk and dee.. so farnie pple...hahaa..been laughing the whole band practise mann...wad an enjoyable day.. haix. monday will be the "last" band prac. for me cos i m leaving...kinda dread it cos i will be missing the concert...arghhhh..i love to perform with the cc pple cos they can cover us..hahaa..bleah...jk lah...anne dun come after me. ahhaa..anywayz, its fun to practise with them cos we can play well so i dun really mind! haha... and the horn sl from the cc is so chinese pai. haha..eww..haha but i guess most of them are and he* is super gd at playing lors. haha make us feel inferior. =)) jk. well, i guess it was fun! hope monday also liddat. *grins*

kk gtg, byee.
~purple gal~

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Thursday, November 27, 2003

"the more a person wants to hurt you, the more you cant get jealous or angry. show the person that he/she means nothing to you and stand up again"

hey if zhi hao see this, pls contact me..i accidentally deleted ure contact sorry.... add me again. thks

gosh i m really exhausted from all these stoopid depressing entries that will shatter my soul. anywayz, maybe i shd just promise myself not to let *him* hurt me again. and so, i shant write abt anyhting that was in the past anymore and i shall be my guai self again. * i promise my korkor to be guai so i must remember* oh well, its pouring outside, just like wad i have to say now...feel like pouring everything out. really have lotsa things to say... i hope korkor can come online now... and so bad i accidentally deleted his contact..argh... anywayz, i dunno y the weather never fails to portray my mood... haha..well, *jess* and *gk* no worries, i will nvr shed a tear for *him* again...its just that i m feeling rather melancholic now...thinking of the past... wad happpend and wad is happening now. should i think so much? should i? anywayz, i will be goin on a long holi frm 2 dec to 14 dec I GUESS ITS A GD BREAK FOR ME... i wanna break away frm everything... ahhaa..no worries guys, i m not feeling depressed or wad..jus feel like writing and pouring out wad was in my head now...

oh well, i miss my *** actually he is not really my kor he's jus a new fren i know but i treat him like a kor. hahaha...dun worry this person is not *him* ahhaha...different. hey zhi hao if u really see this come contact me.... thks. anywayz, feeling much better after surfing the net, really looking forward to holi!! haix, wadever lah..hope the rain will wash away all the unhappiness. okies, i m off to find my fren...ahh...

~purple gal~ :: zhi hao-email me if u see this hor i desperate to find ya...thks ::

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

heyys, i actually have a few more poems to post but i guess it is taking up lotsa space mann..so decided not too..maybe one fine day when i m in the mood to rearrange recolour my blog then i might consider posting it up...ahhaa...okies...i m still not my usual self yet..it takes time i guess so i m trying rezally hard to be happy. i guess *jess* and *gk* would be most pleased if i can be my bubbly self again..hahaa..i promise i will kae?. yeapps.

Oh well, i have to go out later for sax. lesson and to meet some frens. haiz...novena square again..lolx. so tired mann..jus came back yet have to go here go there...aiyoh...hahaha..okies..i think i better stop blogging now..or i wont be able to complete my holiday hw b4 sch starts and b4 i go on a holi!!! yeahh..i m goin abroad again! to a place where *xuan* actually filmed her qnyh!!!! so happy mann..also i will be goin japan for four days..yepp..all in all 12days abroad!!! yeahh...so happy...but i hope can confirm quick so i can do some packing lol!! okies. i m off to do some work...byeee...

~purple gal~ fell in love with this phrase: *the winter breeze drifts by with devotion* haha ::copyright:: created by sukai...thanks.

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Monday, November 24, 2003

Experience

My eyes are numb frm crying
and my heart is sore frm all the slashings
I suppressed all the pain but
what i did was in vain.

My mind is very clear
but i m still unsure

Should i get angry? jealous?
or shd i just care less?

My head is in a whirl
and my mind starts to twirl
Who knows my unhappines?
Its beyond words and phrases

I think i shd let go
and definitely will do so.
But its never the same-
for u and me again.

created by sukai ~effects of bitter love~

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Sunday, November 23, 2003

Memories

You really make me ponder
and really wonder
if the world was coming to an end
if you couldnt be my fren

i know its hard
hard for u to handle
these matters of the heart

i will go away
will go my way
i will reflect
and not be sad
i will accept
and never regret.

That's all i have to say.

created by sukai. no copying please. thanks

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

okie thks for ure reply. i know wad to do. leave u alone and please leave me alone. give me a break. i dunno wad will happen in the future but i will not bother abt the matters of the heart anymore. maybe its a gd sign that u are goin away, maybe its a blessing in disguise. wadever the case, i dun wanna scare/hurt anyone around me anymore. esp my friends and family. they hae been really worried for me. why do i always make pple worried?. i dunn get it, everything i do seem to be wrong. totally wrong. i shouldnt have taken the first step. should not. definitely not. how i wish i can just forget. forget. truthfully, u hurt me too deeply, i really wanna forget but cant, u left a scar there already. and i will. afterall, u r nothing to me rite?...u treat me like any other goods and push me around...u dun even mean wad u say.okok u didnt say anything rite?...hah. and now u say i m scaring u.ok ok i give up, i m really scaring u so i really give up totally, inside out.

bye forever. i dun wanna drag further. i hope that u know tt ure sorries dun cure. i know u mean it but i dun sense it. and now i will say i m sorry, i mean it. i dun want anything to change, not ure imprsn of me and everything but its hard...after all this rite?...my imprsn of u has changed too...didnt know u were that mean. wadever the case its a goodbye and no turning back. okie i dunno wad kinda poem this is but its just to express my feelings. its not a poem...dont want it to rhym.

~purple gal~

i m crying like the rain
but wadever is gone is gone like the wind,
take my heart away, let it rest in peace
let it remain cold and unfeeling
let it cry, shout and die
for all i want is just for the bitter memories
to be washed away.

You make me wonder if i was wrong
but u sound as if i was.
let me pause and think
b4 u say a thing.
since we are unhappy together
then let us forget each other.

its alright then, i know this is the end.

~ the end ~

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

"Autumn moonlight knows no bounds"

Last night i had the most beautiful dream ever in my entire life... It was a dream with just the person i was most eager to meet up with, share my feelings with and talk to. I really wonder if u had that dream too, its just to real to even think it was a dream. *prays hard-i hope this dream will come true* but i know for now that it might be impossible. totally impossible. I just dun understand why does heaven make fun of me?... I cant accept the fact that... Its been six whole days,six long dreadful days. i hate this feeling... *holds back my tears* Why isit always you that make me cry?...My entire soul is in a total wreck. My heart is crying to itself, bitter tears flows continuously out of my inner soul. I hate hate hate this piercing feeling... but i really cant control myself...my heart, my soul. Truly, i hope u would at least give me a reply.. even if u said the word that i hate to hear, i will still accept it.

i really cant let go, i dunno if u really planned to do this to me or wad? everything bad seemed to come one after another, and i really cant take the blow. its so intolerable. and now, even the person u like seem to be distancing herself frm me.. as if i had some disease or something.what did i do/say?.. what is the world coming too? i look forwaRD TO happy days with u. why do u always affect others and me?...i dun getit?..isit one of ure plot again?..i hope not.. sometimes i really feel like ending my life here just becos of u. why?why? why do u mean so much to me? i cant really describe how i feel now. but the feeling is overwhelming me my soul and everything. u know its so obvious..far too obvious that u are avoiding me..i dun care if u have a new target or wad..jus gimme a reply. just a reply. PLEASE...

Why? i didnt do anything to u my friend..even if i did could u at least say smthg? i yearn to hear ure voice...i yearn for everything. everything is totally meaningless w/o ure presence. and why does everyone side u?...am i wrong? am i?? tell me!!...i dunno wad to say. its just that i know u mean alot to me.... really.. and i dun understand why are some other pple avoiding me too?...did u ask them to do so?>in case i will get jealous or wad?< i dun care...jus tell me/say smthg. i will know wad to do. i dunn expect much really. haiz i know wad i say now will be of no use but i just hope u will know one day that i m willing to sacrifice for u.

okie i will give u all the time and space u want and i will try try try very very hard to accept the fact tt u want to avoid me.. i will devoid myself of all emotions if possible and just be my bubbly self. u really make me wanna die... oh wells, gk,gk u must really help me...i dunno wad to do??...its so confusing and dreadful...sigh...and if u really have smthg to say to me, spit it out. i hate pple who beat around the bush. just say. i will accept it. really i will. and to someone frm our class-i hope u know i m not pointing the gun straight at u but i hope u will forgive me...i really didnt mean to hurt u. if u feel that i really really did, pardon me please...i have lost a gd fren. i cant lose anything anymore...i really cant. no matter what u goin to say in ure blog or sms, i wont even say a thing. not a single thing. wadever the case, i respect ure decision and i hope u would forgive me. thank you.

anywayz, this is really a long and truthful entry frm me. i have nvr expressed my tots so freely b4. well, i guess i shall look forward to my relative's wedd later. i m off. i really dun know what will i do if i cant take it. bye

~purple gal~

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Friday, November 21, 2003

urgh..renovation goin on at home...so xian3. i have to stay in my room practically for the whole day and like breathe in highly polluted air altho' the air con is on. so pissed mann... but the gd thing is i can come online 24hrs...not really larh but the whole day...

JUST A NOTE TO ALL THAT I WONT BE BLOGGING FOR 2/3 FULL DAYS COS OF SOME STOOOPID RENO. hahaaha i m moving to my aunt's hse to stay so whoever wants to contact me, can do so via sms. yupps.

Wonder what will i do when i go to my aunt's hse...maybe rot...cos only 3 person at home me, my mum and my aunt. so slacky mann...okies wadever the case i need pple to flood me with sms es. thankew. hhaa... gtg soon. cyaz guys on mon/tues. byeee.take care

~purple gal~ *waves*

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Thursday, November 20, 2003

You're the loving smile,the one that is entirely
devoted to others,especially that one
person.You really can't get them out of your
head,but then,you don't really want to.

What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present"

Well, there have been numerous bombings in turkey this month so i dunno if i can still go there for a holi. and come back safely. haiz...i didnt freak out when i watched the news of the turkish city of Istanbul being bombed and there were ltsa casualties and deaths.. it was gruesome but i dunno why i still looked forward to my trip...haha..anywayz, it was until my mom told me of a strange happening did i start to freak out...gosh..it is so terrifying..so i shall share it with you guys.

yesterday when my mum was alone at home, she was quite busy walking around and packing some stuff up to prepare for the reno. today..yupps, then, at the corner of the eye she saw a lizard following her not really that close to her but at a distance...u know lizards usu. scamper away in the presence of humans. but this one was diff. it followed my mom everywhere and gazed at her as if it was trying to tell her something but something was holding it back.... my mom then felt kinda weird and uneasy...cos when she was young, a lizard usu. crawls up her table and stares at her while she was doing work... so it wont harm her and she even feels comfortable with its presence. so my mom thought that something wasnt right so she whispered to the lizard "u have anything to tell me? what's wrong?" then the lizard was kinda hasty but still nthg came out frm its mouth... well, then the lizard was practically scampering at a slow pace so my mom thought it was injured or somethng and kinda like ignored it. yar..then later in the evening, we heard the news that turkey was bombed five times...haiz...

so i was just thinking if the lizard was trying to stop us frm goin there or smthg cos it is not safe at all... or was it trying to tell us something else like "help me" cos i m injured?...haiz...i truly dunno if i shd relate all this together..maybe my mum is just being sensitive but i am telling u, her six sense is super effective...*saleena will know why* i told sal, a lot of stories abt my mum and her six sense...all facts...so now i m scared... shd we go???...maybe our life is really at stake or maybe.... i really have no idea.

*prays hard to GOD* please bless and protect our family frm any harm and go and come back safely frm our turkey trip. nothing must happen. amen. *thank GOD*

~purple gal~ *shudders*

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

PLEASE DO NOT COPY WADEVER STUFF I HAVE IN MY BLOG!!! You can ask me for my permission first. I wont bite your head off if ure request is reasonable so PLEASE BE REASONABLE and DONT BE RUDE. thank you.

hellooo guys, i totally screwed up my blog's template..so yucks...haiz sometimes i wonder being so close to someone is gd or bad sometimes they might take advantage of you in any way... well, just hope that u guys know that one should not sin against GOD. so please be more considerate and think b4 you do anything. i m totally = mad and furious = at someone... why can't she be more thoughtful and considerate... i think i better distance myself frm her...she's totally a hypocrite. so irritating!! haiz, wadever the case, i cant be bothered to talk to her anymore i m steaming and boilong like a volcano!!!

okok i shall stop cursing that person..well, i think i got my blog back in shape...and i m still searching for a nice pix so pple out there be patient!! hahaa...alrights, i will be goin out for a litta while then to tuition later...gosh why isnt *elaine* goin for tuition..then i will be left aloneee..arghh...well, sometimes being alone is kinda fun too but not for tuition....i might be the only gal there arghhh...

okies, i m off to have lunch! see you guys around! byeee
~purple gal~ *dun take advantage of me or i wont let u off -- bitch*

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Sea

?? Which Angel Or Demon Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

okies! i m done with my changing of template ahahaha... it became less attractive liaoz...tt's wad i think but nvm lah. anywayz, i have some nice quotes on the right hand corner of my blog...haha..find it rather meaningful. oh wells, i dunno why but i think i got tired with my new template so yupps changed back..haha..and ehh..made some changes to the colour scheme too..but not much larh..okies i will be goin for sax. class later...friday too...kinda look forward to it tho' haha...

= jovial and sociable = yupps just feeling different today..wonder why but haha looking forward to watching ar3. it rocks a lot mann..opps...i hear yawns and scoffings. u guys must be thinking oh no! her ramblings and crappings again! aha..okieokie talking on msn to my gd buddy sista *jess* she's so cute and funny mann..both of us love armed reaction like siaoz right? haha... yeahh..so happy next thurs got some briefing b4 we leave for turkey!!! yippeeeee! i wanna go out of spore...haha

maybe frm tomolo onwards i m just gonna post some quotes that suits my mood/thoughts..haha..i think i will just do tt! and yupp i wont be blogging maybe frm sat onwards till monday or tues. cos i have some reno. works goin on at home...yupps, some hacking of the bathroom and such..to make it more pleasant larh. =) ok gtg now... see ya guys tmr or whenever i m free! byee!

~purple gal~ *am i pretending to be happy? - make me forget the bitter past*

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Haha i am just wondering whether i should change my temp back to the old one with *xuan* i m so in love with her...maybe i should lolx...see first..hmm..anywayz, i think i will so i will do it now b4 i add some new and innovative quotes i got..hahaa..lolx.

~purple gal~ *winks*

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Monday, November 17, 2003

= got my posting results today = was kinda happy cos i got to my first choice class 3/2 !!! yeahh...and saleena is goin to that class too...so not too bad afterall. yupps, actually, i kinda regret not choosing 3/1 haha i can actually get in but haiz dunno wad's wrong with me...haha..anyway, i guess 3/2 is fine too larh... but the gd thing abt 3/1 is that i have lotsa frens there frm my class 2/1 haha and now i m so pressured coz everyone is like asking me if i was goin to 3/1 and i'll jus have to say 3/2 ahhaa..its like many pple expect me to go 3/1 coz i think the 1st to 7th in our class are goin 3/1 expect me(6th) and the debby(3rd) haha..oh wells, i guess there are many pros and cons goin to 3/1 as well as 3/2 so maybe i wont think too much...jus hope that the class has a gd competition and not a playful atmosphere... haha..otherwise i might slack as well...=(

anywayz, sometimes i wonder wad makes humans humans...isit emotions? well, emotions can take over our lives and might even take over logic. hmm..will come easy becoz u wont need to even consider other pple's feelings b4 doing something and making decisions. i m just = thinking too much = well, i find that i cant tolerate anymore...maybe i will just have to distance myself frm him. its not getting anywhere and i feel that i m a burden to him. so maybe we shd just let go of our everything. haiz... maybe i m just being pure insane or wadever but i dunn think i can let go that easily.its hard.
wadever the case i m definitely goin to try... *thinks hard* maybe its not the correct time... yeap..so why control it?

wadever the case, i m still on my thinking mood and i sometimes have no faith in doin some things. i guess i better not say anymore...its quite obvious...ahh so i shall stop my ramblings here. take care all!

~purple gal~ *bitterness of love is felt deep downwonder if it is gd or bad... sometimes i really feel that i might be better off w/o emotions and then everything my heart, its feels as if my heart is tearing apart*

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

opps..sorrie guys haha i guess my last entry offended many innocent pple out there ahhaa...dun take it too seriously lah..its only a J O K E... relax mann..anywayz, if i made u pple(u know who) angry or smthg haha sorry. yeps sorry ahaha...okies well, maybe i shld even say this out mann...now everyone is commenting haha oh wells, i think maybe i shd delete that part off lah..hahaa..sorry guys... haha anywayz, jus teasing you guys mah..no need angry one. hahaa

alrights forget abt tt, if they think i m bad mean or wadever let them be lah...i cant change pple's imprsn of me...esp when u think i have done smthg wrong and i think i didnt..haha..oh wells, sometimes its real hard to PLEASE ALL E PPLE IN THIS WORLD. haiz..so i shant bother jus hope tt some pple wont be tt sensitive hahaa...lol. relax.

well, band was definitely fun today! anne came and she is gonna play for the concert! so shiok mann...too bad i wont be goin for the concert will miss her playing. anywayz, really wanna thk her loads for being so enthu. haha...all e best in your last paper!!! =) okies, looking forward to watching ar3(armed reactions 3) TONITE!! first epi...haha..its a super nice show...yupps so lovee it loads. and well, jus a note to all pple whom i have offended indirectly: sorry and wad i meant in my bloggs are truly jokes. hahaa.. dun hold a grudge agst me mann or i wont be able to slp for few mths..haha okies i m off!

~purple gal~ *let the past be left alone and the future be left in my hands - believe in wad u do*

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Saturday, November 15, 2003

haha...oh wells just enjoy talking to him(not tt person) haha... well, i really hurt him but i guess i will let that bitter past fade away when we are talking and chatting happily...i still can sense the feeling that he is somewad holding himself back and avoiding me...however, its really nice of him to tell me that there had been bombings in turkey ahhaa...ahhaa anywayz,... ( sensored ) ...

i really hope he will still accept my behaviour somedays...jus let time bring and take away all the unhappiness and bring the joyful ones to us...yepp really its inevitable to make his imprsn of me change..becoz i m totally a diff person well maybe becoz of some personal probs...i cant really say wad...anywayz, its not bgr thing so no worries..now i m just wondering if we can be frens again...as in talk and go out sometimes like frens do....seriously i m not talking abt the person i said in my entries a few days back...reallly...haha..someone else. anywayz, i really hate the world, hat my choice and hate myself for doin tt to u. u r really a good person but... now, its impossible...okay..im grieving here so dun mind. its sad to lose a fren really esp a gd gd one. and all i can say now is i m TRULY SORRY.

*prays hard* i hope tt u can accept wad is the real me...real me...not the guai one. haha..lolx
u guys must be wondering wad am i talking abt right? ahah..nvm, i am just lamenting and these thoughts just came into my mind after i read smeone's blog. is life tt cruel to me?

~purple gal~

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

hey guys!! haha con't frm yesterday...haha gk and i went to town after band frm like 2pm to 5plus haha it was really tiring but i guess it was kinda fun! haha..we went to eat at cine. B.K. and then went heeren..haha..okie the embarassing funny and most idiotic thing happened in heeren..we were walking thro the link thingy and looking at some shops..i was too engrossed with my sms.. then suddenly gk mumbled something like why was the mannequin's hand shaking kinda thing but i didnt even notice or find i peculiar...suddenly, the mannequin just lika went "boo"!!! at us and we screamed like nthg...hahaa..and guess wad, we're on tv...gotcha programme..haha u guys must watch mann..so hilarious...but... smethg bad abt it is...i was holding my phone//...for god's saqke my phonee....and we were in sch uni...arghhh...wad if ms jo teo watches it? hahahaha... it will be the end of my life...anywayz, haiya nvm lah...so wadever the case after that gk said tt we better get out of there or there might be more of these gotcha thingys..hahaa...she's so so humorous...hahha..*enjoy goin out with her*

so yepp we went to roam the streets and some bookstores in search for one known yet unknown book...ask gk why..hahaa..so funny..then went robinsons to look around..and lastly after a long tiring but enjoyable day, we went to coffee bean and sat there for half hr and drank and drank..so shiok...nvr in my life had i sat on a spot for half hr just to drink stuff..hahaa..the ice mocha there was excellent...haha..okies...then later when i went home was so exhausted and sleepy...went to bathe then haha watched my fav. hk show!!!! LEGAL ENTANGLEMET. channel U SAT/SUN only..haha..its the third last epi...*sob* so sad gonna end soon...haiz..i rate it 5/5 so so super nice...lolx. the plot the actors and everything! well, this show has lotsa love philosopies in it...it focuses on r/ships and fren ship and family bonds..yupp..also a little abt political stuff...=) its shiok shiok and more shiok. hahaa...okies wad a long entry...

anywayz, i guess there's no right or wrong in love. neither is there hatred. Love is something that comes in a haste of a moment and we cant control it. If one really controls love, then it wont be that pure and innocent love. that is wad makes it so complicating. should it be pure and innocent or complicated? haiz. well, jus gonna end my entry here. u guys think of my ques and ponder.

~purple gal~ *love is love if u think its complicating it will be, if not, it wont, so dun think abt it*

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

= exhausted but happy = haha...today we had band practice frm 745-1230..guess my lips was like sore when it was over ahhh..haha...i had to play damn high notes thro'out all the pieces... ahhaa..nvm, its a practice afterall take it as a way to improve myself...yupps, i m really really tired today so i wont blog for long...tmr i will let ya guys know wad happened after band...damn embarassing and funny....when i went out with gk..hahaa...we're on tv!!! hahaa..."gotcha" the tv thingy if u guys watch...haha..will tell ya tmr..i m off to watch my show then go for gathering..hahaa..byeee..

~purple gal~ *altho' i change ure imprsn of me, i hope all bitter memories will be forgotten*

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Friday, November 14, 2003

Jus wanna express my thanks to all who have comforted me for the past few days, who have made my thoughts flow again and who really changed my predicament. a real big big sorry to all those pple who have been v. worried for me. just a note to all that i m really fine...oh well, maybe for now... i guess i wont bluff myself by saying everything is over and i m truly alright as if nthg of that sort had happend...i cant make myself do that so really sorrie to all who care for me. i truly appreciate it and -hugs- thanks so much guys. =) *smiles*

Well, i guess life is such that one cant take control over it sometimes... friends who u expect to be there with you during ure hard times might not be there afterall and it is thro' these experiences that i really see who are the frens who indeed care...i guess maybe some of u think i m foolish by saying this but well, this applies not only with frens... with many things in life too... is too complicating to even think abt it so i guess i better not...

anywayz, i kinda sorted things out already...and haha..i learnt quite a lot frm this experience..well, if u r really feeling down go out for a chill...shop till u drop...i got a real big hole in my pocket now...haha..spent like two hundred on some accesories/clothes/wallet/water bottle/bag haha..etc...it really helps u relax and put aside allw the frustrations in life. *now i think i know why so many pple go bankrupt/splurge* hahaa...okie i m somewad back to my norm self...but i will somehow still think of the unhappy memories...if i really can use the word regret, i would say i regret(*infinity) it...wad i have done.

if the person who sees this think i m telling him this msg. i jus wanna say im really sorry...nthg can be changed already so i guess giving us some space and time would help.. *chokes out and mumbles a sorry* u should know who u r...i really dun feel like thinking of wad is in the past already so lets look into the future k... as u say....no worries. p/s take care. =) i hope u r fine.

okok stop all this now...*swallows back my tears* actually, who am i writing all these? i really dun see the point here...humans are really funny peculiar creatures...haha..humph.. alrites i think i better go offline now cant wait to catch the last epi of law enforcers channel U nine pm...hahaa...its really thrilling!! okiesss. gtg. thks again to all *lub ya guys*

~purple gal~ *waves* *tells herself: everything will be fine*

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

"something that is not meant to be yours will be lost nomatter how hard you try to salvage it. something that is meant to be, however, will always come back to you, one way or another, perhaps when you are ready. " quoted from geraldine's blog.

i find it truly meaningful...maybe it is indeed so...perhaps wad im goin thro' is jus a passing stage...getting over it and standing up again is the impt part..maybe..
well, wad jingjing in holland v said is v meaningful as well... ahhaa...so yepp i will just not think abt it lah..

~purple gal~ *forces out a smile*

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

= devastated = why did i make such a choice? why have i said so many hurting words? why? why? why? we were still fine few days ago...no i m not sure if he will avoid me for the rest of his life and i dread it...i hate hate hate to lose frens...esp. good frns..its very hurting....=(

i am super super utterly sad and hurt yesterday... now i m really feeling the pain in my heart as if it was being slashed millions of times. =( all i can say to comfort myself is let time heal my wound and his wound.... maybe i really should give him some time and space like wad gk said...to cool off and be frens with e again... i hope we can *prays* maybe REGRET ISNT THE WORD TO USE... i think i really did many wrong things... i m truly disappointed with myself but i indeed learnt a painful lesson.
The price i had to pay was really a high one and well, i m really angry with myself sometimes... wad is there to say now? i really cant save the situation so i guess its no use saying i didnt mean those words i've said....rather contradictory tho'...anywayz, thank you so much gk, thanks for hearing me out and supporting me always!

i really hope to get things off my chest...evrything happend to quickly...i really dunno how and wad to do...crying is definitely not the only solu....well, i seldom cry for a guy for i really did... haiz...where's my true bubbley self? love is bitter and sweet ... the only thing is that becos love has no mass, no form, no shape that is is truly unbearable when u feel the negative effects of it...truly powerful

anywayz, i think studying is the best... if ure sad, just go study, read or surf the net and chat...it will help really...i dunno y i m saying this but deep down myheart i know i havent gotten over it... well, i will get over this during the holis and hopefully i wont think abt it during my turkey trip lah... spoils my mood... so i am on the other hand lucky too...lucky to go on a holi and relax and forget abt all unhappy things

okie i really hope to continue but i think loads of pple are yawning out there while looking at my totallly boring entry. yiikkeeezz...haha...wadever the case, i really learnt a lesson and from today onwards till O LEVELS, i will not let the matters of the heart affect me and my studies....studies comes first.

~purple gal~ *why did i let you go?* *hope nthg has changed* *prays*

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

ohh wells, feeling great today...ahaha...i think that something is really wrong with my biological system..haha i slept at 1plus cos i toked to my gor gor then i actually woke up at 630 so that means its around 5 hr...hahaha..so amazing...i didnt know i will be able to survive...hahaa..well, i think i m feeling happy cos i have another new sworn brother hahahaa..he's super gd to me so i am very happy lol
anywayz, feeling rather relieved and well, i successfully got back to my old self...hahaa..so shiok feeling is greato. haha...yarh...on the other hand, life can be miserable for me too...haiz...maybe its' not the right time as u say gk...anywayz, life is life...sometimes acceptance is the best policy but its really painful..haiz...some pple know wad i mean larh...i think i told far too many peeps alreadie so dun ask liaoz k..

yupp goin downstairs to buy lunch soon...so goin offline...i wonder why msn cant work lor...so sian...really v boring jus sitting here and typing lolx...okies i think i better go or the hub will close and there goes my llluuuunnnncccchhhhhh ahhhhh..hahaha..byeee

~purple gal~ *smiles* good day lolx

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Monday, November 10, 2003

wells, haha...actually, i wonder why so many pple asked me if my name was really twinkle...hahha...sounds so small and sweet and childish/....hahaa..well, if i really have such a name, the first thing i'll do is jump, scream then bugg my mum to change the name...arghh..haha..and now, ppple will be wondering why did i use *twinkle* after my entry as in the place where it has ...posted by..blah blah..yar...ohs that's becos when i was born, i was damn tiny and i had very bright black sparkling eyes..(according to mummyyy..) ahahah..and yar the first thing she called me was twinkle...hahaa...so jus happen to remember wad she said tt day when i changed my tem. so yeepp, the name went there...hahaa

okies...feeling rather excited and happyyy...my dad finally allowed me to msg my frens when i m in turkey..haha...so fun..i tot he would like trash me up by nagging at my phone bills and stuff...haiz..yar...but instead he jus agreed to pay for all my sms es and calls in turkey
i guess it is truly amazing!!! i m so so happy!!!! Yeahhh.

hehhee...i think i will be starting on my aep researcht hingy on fri...slack mann...i got a whole day at home...no plans yet tho' hahaa...anywayz, i dunno y i m feeeling rather high today...spirited lah...haiz..i lurveeee my new phone so cool....hahaa..not exactly new model but new phone...got frm a free lucky draw ticket...so lucky...but too bad its not me..its my lucky aunt...thankew so much for giving me the phone...hahaa..finally, i no need to use my 8250 hahaa...now using 8910 metallic one...hahaha...so cool ...but i find the buttons really tweeny..sometimes may affect my typing speed...(not saying my typing is fast larh.) yepp..but anywayz, a change is gd...oh yarh...i really hope my 7250 can repair...ahaa..gonna bugg my dad again..

oh wells, lets count down...how many more days to my trip? hahaha....anybody wants anything?? haha...who knows? i might be in the mood to shop when i get there and hahaa... urghh..my stomach is practically growling but i m not hungry at all...i wonder y... ahhaa...i m gonna say this but i guess most of u guys wont believe...my mum actually forces me to eat..hahaa...tt's it..i eat to live

and why isitn there any christmas mood at all in town? haiz..so cold this yr...little decor..i know its a bit early but usu. at this time, the streets would be filled wif some decor..and prep for xmas...hahaa...hopefully it will when xmas comes...love eeeee xmas a lot...its always so memorable and homely....hahaa...well, tt's becoz i have always experienced a nice warm xmas day! =) cheero to all!!

okok stop the crapping again...holidays are not too bad for now...hahaa..gtg now see ya guys soon

~purple gal~ *dances*

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

heyyy guys, haiz...okie band was fun today..hahaha...finally, oh yarh thanks gk for sharing with me so much of ure inner thoughts and secrets..*cheer up k* ahhaah yupp, i also must really thk her for cheering me up...really helped. look forward to cya again on sat. hahaa...cheero

ok i m so gonna watch my fav. show really looking forward to tmr! *back to my normal self* hahahaa...okies i m off...goin to search for a nice new coolk tem. for my blog. thanks for tagging manda. *love ya too*

~purple gal~ *missing ya*

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Thursday, November 06, 2003

heeellllo everyone!!! wahh feeling really sleepy now...*yawn* slept at 12 plus last nite and woke up like six plus today..dunno y cant sleep... haiz...thinking too much liaoz maybe...hahaha...so sian tmr got band...haiz... dunno frm wad time to wad time really dying liaoz...actually toay have band also...but too bad larh cant go i have sax class later...haiz...so sad...actually, i dunno y sometimes i like music alot and smtimes i really hate it...jus wanna stop all music lessons...haha...so frustrated with it smtimes...haiz...

haha..today some sec 2 ape gals will be goin for thailand trip...hahaa... good lor...i really regret not goin hahaa..cant tell u guys the reason... :p anywayz, it seems so fun lolx... haha.. well, jus lookign forward to my prezzie frm someone...hahaa...remember gib me hor. ahhha...oh wells, i mus thk god that i had really made a gd gd fren yesterday,... we toked for the whole day...and i bet my sms bill will go up...*dies* my dad will sure *kill* me one...so scary...anywayz, i very scared now...hahaa..how? haiz...

ohh just now was doin my tuition hw.... got some lit essay thingy and eng...horror story...hahaha..so sian...i cant even think of any horror ones... not scary at all..haiz... better ask *nicole* for some inspirations!! hahaa...yar... i dunno y i m starting to hate my blog...i think it is too pinkish...hahaa...hmm..maybe one fine day when i m in the mood, i will change tem again./....haha...so mah fan.... anywayz, i enjoy coming online and talking to frens...*jess* where are ya...wake up late again arh?

why no one online today? so funny.... hahaa..* i practically find everything funny * well, back to my stonning again....hahaa...maybe i shld go for a tagging spree... oh yarh thanks amanda for calling me to check how am i doin..haha...we talked for like 1 hr? haha..it was really fun knowing u... oh yes...we will be having a gathering again...i tink in late nov. hhahaa...so pple who are invited are my tt few buddies...larh..u shld know who..yupp contact me k...thanks.

okie i tink i will be goin offline soon... wanna watch a vcd my fren lend me... hahaa...very nice..a chin hk movie...no one will be interested i bet...so yuppers, i m off!!! and to all the pple goin thailand trip : enjoy ure trip!! take care =)

byeee gtg
~purple gal~ *missing ya*

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

Your element is Spirit. You are above most Earthly
things or like to think you are. More
mysterious than any of the other elements and
twice as dangerous. You tend to be a loner and
whatever you belive in it verges on fanatical.
Be careful because Spirit has no true substance
and can get lost.

What's your element
brought to you by Quizilla

it is indeed true...i m such a person...
!!!! B E W A R E !!!!

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

You are The Twins, from "The Matrix."
Bad, but with a sexy streak- surprisingly
refreshing. You know what you want, when you
want it.

What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

woah...i didnt know i was tt funny...twins...haha..

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

helllooo guys, wad a nice morning mannn..woke up at 8 plus...hehe..still very sleepy coz lat nite slept at 12 plus...*yawnz* hahaa...oh well feeling extremely joyous today!!! someboday sms ed me and it was utterly a big big super pleasant surprise! ahhaa... haiz i cant really say who here coz promised him to keep it a secret...yuppz, really so funny...yar..then we toked for like 3 hrs...shiokers...hahaa...it was really fun and interesting knowing more abt him...hehee...yar...*dun tink i am boy crazy hor.* yupps, so i m now super happy...i dunn think any of ya can imagine my happines...haiz...cos actually, i tot he wont reply my email one ...who knows hehehee...i ended up getting his no... hahaa...ok larh...then he even treat me to movie...aiyoh...u pple must be sighing and laughing out there right? hahaa...okok i shall stp this k...yar

last nite i went for a stroll downstairs, it was so bustling! haiz,...thanks to god for such beautiful weather! how i wish i can like *catch* and retain some of the cool and gloomy atmosphere now then maybe when i m feeling down, i can take it out...and breathe or wadeva...*fantasizes* hahaha...sorry guys i m a truly dreamy person...hahaa...yup later i will be having eng tuition again..it was kinda fun last wk...hope this wk too *prays hard* yar... then later tonight will watch my fav. law enforcers show..hehe..i really hope yali will be wif guofeng and not jiarong...hahaha...zhang sir rocks...xiaoqian is also super dupa cuteeee...hehehe...yar...love hk shows like my honey sista *jess* yupp we will definitely go hk together and play play...play...shop like anything k? hahaa... i also hope tt ar 3 would come quickly, i watched the scv one long time ago liaoz so forgot abit of the show...but i can guarantee tt it is damn nice...hahaa..okies stop the showing noww...

yuppsz, i will be starting on my aep project soon...must go do some research on sun...sat cant got band..haiz.,..band again.... so tired but quite nice smetimes....hahaa...and sun my dad will be on business trip to india this sun..hahaha...wad a place to go mann...ahhaa...*bring back some curry* ahhaha...always tok abt food hor...hahaa..kk

was just talking to my good honey sista *jess* really thk her for listening to me in all times whenever i m happy/sad. *eternally grateful* hahaa hope our frenship will last forever! =) okies...i decided not to have lunch anymore....so bloated and full.,....hahaa...later my tuition will be damn cold coz the air con there super strong./....haiz...*coughs* ok ok i shall stop rambling...oh yarh...the sch gave us some dunno wad booklist to borrow bks and read...ahhaa..oh wells, just being lazy, i guess i will not go borrow larh...hahaa...unless i feel like borrowing...

matrix is here again....i havent been to the cinemas to watch...hahaa...will be buying the vcd if they have lah...a lot pple say nice le...i think it is ok ok only.,..hahaha...anywayz, good day to all and thks for reading/browsing thro' my stoopid, useless, boring entry. ahhaaahaha

god bless all who r studying for their O s. and A s. esp: *anne* *duanjie* *winnie* and *kerri*

see ya soon gtg.
~purple gal~ *eternal happiness* thks for cheering me up

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

Got my results today..wasnt as bad as i tot it would be...hahaha..i tell you i m so so devastated...i just need i more mark to be 5 in class...haha...nvm lah...anywayz, this time i didnt really study hard...mah...i dunno y so slack...hahaha...anywayz, quite happy with my results so here i m blogging again...haha. yupps, i cant wait till dec 5...goin turkey!!!! heard it was super super fun!! haha...*eager*

ok tt's for my results...i love today's weather...so gloomy yet there s a tinge of happiness lingering around....haha...the weather reminds me of lotsa sweet and beautiful memories...esp...the times when i travelled overseas to other countries...imagine...enjoying a steamboat feast in the open balcony of a tall hotel building that oversees the entire city...woah..shiokers mann...i love tt feel...it is so serene...free.. hahaa...the air is super cool and refreshing also...haha..really wanna go out of spore liaoz...feeling so eager. actually, the weather reminds me of some happy and sad memories too lah...in taiwan,vietnam... shopping in the open air wet market...haha...not smelly at all...so nice...haha...wadeva lah...feeling really enthu. abt goin overseas. now... ok ok wadeva.

haha...just a few days got news abt xuan not coming to spore...haiz damn sad but wad can i do? haha...as if she's my sis lorss...i can at least pursuade her hahaha...lol...*dreams* so yar...*xuan* fans dunn be too sad k...cheero ;lah...she will come...DEFINITELY...its just the time...k? *lub xuan alwayz*

yupps, after this i will go taggie pple's tagboard...hahaa..havent been doin tt for a long time...actually, this type of weather damn nice...wanna go out shop shop but cant larh...haha yar..today just finish watching my vcd...qnyh...haha.so super dupa nice...i know i wathc vcd damn long one...hahaha...yar..coz i watch the epi i like 3/4 times..*siaoz* hahaa...yar..i so love the ending...hhaaa

now, i m in love with a show i watched long ago,.... now on ch U. legal entanglement the show on sat. 7pm with *hacken lee* ahhaha love his charac. in the show..heard he will be coming to sg. for a concert...*shouts eagerly* i wanna go!!!!! hahahait's on nov 22...hahaha/..i want!!!! aiya...wadeva larh...he act until so so cute in the show lors. haha..yarh...ar3(armed reactions 3) coming out too... must thank ch U...SO SHIOK. my holis wont be tt boring afterall. *giggles*

yar...law enforcers also not bad larh....haha...love fennie yuen too...she so so sweet lors...okok i m a total hk show crazy person like my honey fairy sista *jess* hahaha...yar *Jess* hope to meet up soon again...fun fun.. ahhaa...okies..i m onto my tagging spreee now...byeeee. 18nov posting results think i can get into my fav. combi larh...haha..*hope so*

yar...and for ure info, i m into this spring summer autumn winter kinda nicknames coz it brings back very sweet ,melancholic and everlasting memories...so peaceful...ahhaha.so dunn mind...loveee the nicks.

~purple gal~ *eternal fairy : winter breeze*

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;