my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER...

Saturday, January 24, 2004

happy chinese new yr! abit the late i know cos last few days didnt have time to blog.. to bz goin to relative's hse and bai nian. hahahaa.. anywayz, the ang pao collection was not too bad.. ahahha... enjoy the cool weather... wheee.. it has been raining for the whole day today!... cool and breezy sleepy feel mann.. ahhahaa.. oh wells, jus had a family gathering dinner so so funn k... so many delicacies each until i so so full... ahhaha... oh for the last few days i m so deeply in love with two shows i watched on scv - SQUARE PEGS AND GOLDEN FAITH. both shows got so so cutee, pretty and marvellous xuan!!! loveee her so much mann... she rocks big time... okies, my craze again.. hahaha... who cares? i m so gonna rent/buy the vcds when it comes out or during the holi!!! loveee it mann..i m telling u its highly recommended. ahahhaa. can watch it for like billion and trillion times without getting sick of it mann.. hahahaa.. loveee the shows...

alrites, hope i can calm down and get back to study mode cos i know sch is gonna be tough... this yr no joke. cant play play dun study liaoz... so i better pull up my socks... yeapps, i jus have to bear in mind that i reap wad i sow. study hard, concentrate and in the end, i will get lotsa shows to watch... u know... the shows will still be there after 2/3 yrs... vcd, tv etc... but not exams... wells, i m trying v hard to pursuade myself to concentrate. *no obssesion* anywayz, on a lighter tone, i would be striving v ard frm tmr onwards. sch mode. no crappin, tv, vcd. down to study... eekks... pressure... stress... die die. nvm nvm... i know i can, shall, will and must do well!!!dont slack and jus go for it. after the o's then relac... dun worrie!!

okies, i think pple will think i m insane... ahhahaa... toking to this comp screen... toot. nvm. alrites, i still have physics hw havent do.. shitty. nvm.. better go liaoz. byeeee. study hard guys!

~purple gal~ *u can do it*

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

happy happy gal today!! well, firstly cos i managed to wish someone very special happy new yr... hahahaa... so here i m smiling all e way... ahhahas, wad a winderful new yr eve!... today school suppose to end at 10 but cos of some delay, it ended at 1040... hahaha.. mass was okie. concert was also okie... we performed one song only so sad.. i luvee queen's park.. but we didnt perform that song cos no time... haiyox.. sadieee... but but~never mind~ cos i am still very very happy today!! happy happy little gal hehehe... wells, altho' sec3 is a bz yr, i guess maybe i made use of my time fully... haiz... sometimes i wonder of this is gd or bad.. its so hectic yet i kinda like the pace.. altho' sometimes i really feel like giving up... cos there's no time to even relax.. yeapps, i guess i hafta get use to it. takes time. well, its new yr eve so i shant think of the bad things anymore! hahahaa.. keep smiling pple! x)

alrites b4 the new yr and also b4 i get back to my hectic schedule again, i think i got to pour this feeling rite out... frm the bottom of my heart.. u see.. i said in one of my previous entries that my life has changed. everything changed. pple changed rite?... well, i guess maybe that special someone might not be that special to me anymore... heard that she's a very very nice person.. and a wonderful fren... but.. i cant stop imagining or rather thinking that we r not as close as we think. not as close. not as perfect. might only jus be acquaintances(spell error). casual frens... i guess, maybe i shdnt be that PRIVATE with her... cos she might not like it... its jus a pity. real pity. she and i share the same personality, interest and hit off so well... why?!?!? why cant we be best frens? fate? or has it been planned already?... i dunch know... jus feeling a sense of weariness.... dun wanna think too much anymore. enuff of these... i shd jus concentrate on studies. concentrate.
okies, this week on the whole was short but wuite bz too.. aep, chem ca... oh yar.. and my lit ca i sure die le... we r supposed to write 10 pgs AT LEAST... but me leh this slack person only wrote 3.5 IRRELEVANT stuff... sure fail i guess. can confirm le... so dead. but i still think lit is better to study than bio... v sicko...hahahaas alrito.. nxt week same thing again.. rush rush like mad. got pe. dead exhausted again i guess... then got lotsa hw again. so dead tired and sleepy. wahhh.. hate this!!! anyways, i gotta cool it. lolx. take it ez. so now me off to watch tv. relax for ONCE. byeeee.

~purple gal~ *HAPPY CHIN NEW YR*

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Saturday, January 17, 2004

busy to my limits. sec3 is so so such a dead yr... the workload is a million and zillion times more then sec2 and the trs are goin at such a speedy rate in class tt it might be hard to understand some stuff... everything is so tough... i have been slping at practically past 12 everyday. jus to complete my hw. really exhaustion... well, but i guess maybe my hardwork will pay off... someday... haiz.. but i know if this continues, i might get sick... haiz.. then i will miss school and argh.. hard to catch up later.. so so i must be positive and take things with stride... dunn make myself too pressured... ahhahaa...

and thursdays are really happi happi jubilation days!!! everytime get to tok to my mentor... ahhahaa.. she is so so sweet mann.. always feel so relaxed with her... ahahhaaa... kk.. enuff of all these.. actually, nthg much happened this week. usual sch hectic schedule and lotsa aep work to do... i guess its tiring me out... bubble gonna burst sooner or later i know... well, its past my limits... and tmr.. i still have lit test... gosh gosh... we are supposed to write 10 stoopid pgs on one unseen prose... wahhh... 10 lehhz... no joke... gonna die of hand pain i bet,.... so must be prepared... oh wells, i think i better kp my entry short cos my purpose of comin online is to do research not blabber here... hahhaa.. so i guess me better get goin!!

yeahh.. this week is cny week!!!! yeappppieee.. will be gettin ang paos ahahhahaa... so so fun... i guess finally a break for me... wadever... looking forward to cny and looking forward to band too... ahahhaa.. have been missing band for like so many days cos of aep... haiz... miss all of my band mates... and miss the songs... hahahaaa... anywayz, jus wanna *thk GOD* for this special wk and *prays hard* that the coming week would be a goody goody and happy one... with little hw of course... so as to lemme catch up... yeapps... *thankies*

kaez... cya guys soon! better be working on my proj. or mr tan will kill mee... arghhh.. *stressed* byeee

~purple gal~ || its a miracle not a mere coincidence || =) keep smiling

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Thursday, January 08, 2004

happiness beyond description!!!! why why why does it have to be today?!?! anyways, i waited so long for this day and finally after many jix and unlucky days, it came!... *thank GOD* well, i really feel so so refreshed after wad happened today... some titbits of nice stuff that has brightened my life... not dull nimore!! in fact, i m really happy. too happy to say anything else!... hehehe... ahahha... kk jus wanna note this down.. and yesh *prays hard to GOD* hope tmr would be as happy and fruitful as today and also lemme concentrate well in sch!... so yeapps, feeling extremely tired now.. sleepy so goin to do some hw then *yawns* me off to bed liaoz! tata!!!

~purple gal~ *u really make me beam after many days of frowning*

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

changed. difference. everything in life has changed, turned upside down and my life is in a turmoil. physical and mental turmoil. my brain is practically on fire and i m indeed boiling mad. the reason why is simply becos of someone- a person who changed my life... she is... i feel not there for me anymore. i cant it. cant accept the simple fact that i m alone. facing all obstacles alone in darkness. and confusion takes over my body so imagine... confusion and loneliness. dread this feel. fear. wadever the case, i must do it.. i keep on telling myself tt but... something tells me and holds me back... i really cant seem to figure out if this is fear/premonition that something would go really wrong. well, i tend to think so deeply into things that i get confused by my thoughts as well... and now, i m truly afraid of wad is comin up... will it be more emotional stress? mental breakdown? physical constrain? dunch really know cos i cant tell the future... but i bet its something more tought than this.. maybe totally unbearable.. kaez, altho' i wrote this rather serious chunk of words, i think my mind is still in a whirl... maybe i have not really let out wad i truly wanna say... cos of some reasons... private ones...

oh wells, maybe i should not harp on it anymore. as zhi hao* says, life still has to go on even without her.. me not psychopath or obsessed arh... jus hate losing someone who stood by me when i needed comfort and encouragement. haiz... so different u know. things DO change without u knowing it... pple change. everything. hate it hate it hate it like anything!! why cant heaven be more fair?!?! i m very frustrated and angry now... jus tt i m suppressing all my emotions... cant let it out cos of another set of stoopid reasons... i guess i m not being myself for these few days... its takes time to accept everything tt one has lost... a gd soulmate, a gd mentor, a gd fren. hard to accept. very hard. wadever the case, i think i will go on strong and TRY... despite many failures... haiz.. i think heaven wants me to go the tough way... wadever the case i will go ahead!... maybe now my main focus is to get my studies in place... do well but i dunch know how can u even concentrate if... u r losing a very important person that might mean life to u?... i cant in fact. but u know wad? i have to say i can... no choice. push my limits. do my best.

kaez,... today was quite a usual day in sch. not much hw finally!!! but tmr will die mann.. so many subj per day sure have lotsa hw!!! arghh.. then i have tuition somemore for two hrs... urghh. trrying very hard to cope... sec3 is really a super jinx yr for me... everyhting is so bumpy... and not in place... haiz... wadever it is i dun have the mood to tok abt sch liaoz... cos of some reasons.. dun wanna think of the reality/fact of something in sch that i got a gut feeling might happen. wells, i guess i better do my work now! or i would be too tired to con't. haiz... life has to go on... i think i can, i will and definitely try! for tmr, i wont be online i guess cos if there's so much hw, i would be too bz... yupps, i guess if i think tmr would be a bad day, it might be or will be... so i very sincerely *pray to GOD* that tmr would be a happy and fun day for me in school! and for the rest of my school days, i hope to possess the interest in all subjs and concentrate only in my studies!... of course i hope it would be a fun and enjoyable sch yr for me!!... *whisper my thks* yeaps, i only feel the connection with GOD now... now tt i m left alone. so so so... maybe prayers do relieve burdens. hahaha.. solace. wadever it is, i better go now!! yikes! see ya guys soon and happy mugging! =)

~purple gal~ *everything would be fine soon*

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

so unlucky super jinx and suai today mann... my "good" "dearest" form tr picked/ called me up to ans a ques twice even at random... idiot and stoopid register no. 9 so unlucky!!! i still luveeee last yr's evrythin... trs, classmates, register no.. and everything seems so purrfecct last yr lor... then it became so so screwed up now... wells, totally an upside down of my sec2 yr. and it is very depressing to experience such a contrasting feel of my opinion on school life. gosh... starting to dread school... haiz... wadever the case... i promised someone special that i would not slack member?... haiyoz... and now, we seldom get to see each other... arghh.. hate it... hey guys no worry la... this someone special is NOT a guy... hahahas.. but me not les. hor...!!! ahahs. jus a mentor? meybeee.. wadever the case, i think i will go on and strive hard no matter how hard isit cos she gives me the will... yeapps, wont let her down!

oh wells, enuff of this... jus *pray hard and sincerely* that i wont be picked on so much and i could jus loveee sch and concentrate... cos its really frustrating to get sucky trs... and cos of some other reason i wont say.. i think *jess* knows... ok... stop harping on all the sad/unlucky/jinxified events today... haiz... *prays* hope tmr would be a better aND happier day for me!! *thks* oh yesh, me supposed to do some aep research thingy but dunno y once i come online i started chatting to frens and blogging... so slack and dead. aiyohhh.. why me liddat?!?! *slaps meeself to wake myself up* haiz... okies better not tok too much and do some work!!!! kk, i gtg. will update if tmr is a gd day... hopes really hard it is and will be... =)

~purple gal~ *u mean alot to me -i should have cherished the past- no use regretting now*

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Monday, January 05, 2004

not too bad a day for me. jus tt we had to stay back until 6 plus for aep. but on the whole lessons were quite okay jus that we had hw again... and we had to do lotsa printing of contents page to do... and wells, i m trying hard to do my chinese today so tt i need not do it tmr... and a maths hw i m not intending to do today cos me super tired and sleepy... so yawns... tmr then i'll do it. *prays* hope tmr wont have so much hw... ahhahas... and now now... i m so stuck with my aep proj... gosh... still have lotsa research and studies and stylisation to do... wahhh.. alot mann... hope to complete it soon... lets see if got time lor... so bz ever since skool starts.. oh no! i better get goin now! cyaz guys and happy studying!! =) byeee

~purple gal~ *hard work brings abt success*

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Sunday, January 04, 2004

school was sucky on friday. cant imagine wad sec 3 would be like but i think it could be described in one word. =tortue= all the teachers tt our class got was like so so 100% strict and sucky. AND... we got like tons of hw on the FIRST DAY of school.. so so.. u think it is sucky?... i guess many would ewww.. at our lit tr. mag low. cant believe this... real life tortue... and who did i get for eng? nicole teo. wad the *** lor... i hate hate hate these two trs. most mann... some more our form tr pressurized us on the first day of skool by saying some depressing things like fail fail fail and red marks here and there thing... wad is this mann!! oh wells, some pple say the trs are quite gd... cos strict means got standard marh.. i dun think so... if we dun like the tr, how can we even study well?... goodness me and my class.. really made a wrong wrong choice... ahhhss. who cares la.. maybe i shd learn to accept the fact and heck care of the trs. jus study hard and do well. heck care like sec2... maybe maybe... i will try to do tt... but its damn hard.. lolx. so so lets not tok abt this.

oh yesh, i wont be blogging too often le... cos its a bz yr i guess... with so much hw and stay backs... gosh... okies, goin offline soon.. jus wanna lament on the sucky trs we got and get it off my chest... ahh.. feeling much better but still no use. cant change the fact tt i have sucky trs... hahahas.. wadever. and now i m struggling thro a set of chinese ci yu... trying to memorise them... but to no avail... eyes keep on looking at comp screen.. yikess... i m off schedule liaoz. so better go offline soon..!! *prays hard* i hope the coming wk would be a very happy and enjoyable wk for me in school... hope theres not so much hw... and stress.

well, jus *wish* that i understand everything tt is taught in school and work hard. concentrate on studies only!! yeapps, i m off maybe i would update every weekends..depends! okies, pple out there study hard no matter how sucky sec3 or wadever is! take care loads! =)

~purple gal~ *dun let the surrounding changes affect u*

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Thursday, January 01, 2004

skool is gonna start tmr. jus packed my bag and its damn heavy... gosh.. got to lug it to school tmr. opps. i think i m supposed to go offline in abt 5mins time.. gosh so rushy.. i looked thro my sec3 stuff.. some only but i really dun understand a thing.!!?!?! oh my!!! and i read a bit of my lit bk... totally dunno wad the hell are they toking abt... so irritating.. haiz. hope i will do well this yr... hahahas... new environment. new classmates, everything new... oh wells, lets brighten up and have a gd start! hhahhaas.. i wont write a long one today cos i needa turn in soon... hahahas... and by the way, i m a star as wad steffi said!!! hahahas pple who watched gotcha will know.. it was so so hilarious... i m still laughing now mann.. hahahs..

anywayz, tmr i would be in skool early jus to meet saleena first. this is so lame.. meetin a fren in skool b4 goin class.. like so childish liddat mann.... ahhahas. heck care. hope we get a gd gd form tr and many many super excellent trs for our subjs. okies... tmr have to wake up early again... oh no!!! ahhahas... wadever... there's band on sat means have to wake up early again... gosh gosh.. i m totally messed up since the holidays... hahahs... *brings myself back to earth* kk, see ya guys soon. from now on i guess my entries would be short cos of school work tuition and a packed time table... oh wells, *prays hard* i hope tmr would be a great day for me in skool! *thks* now now, i will do one last minute packing bag and off i m to dreamland...

~purple gal~ *study hard guys!! and take care!*

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;