my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER...

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

TIRED.

im getting sick and tired of studying! so today i slacked for a record of 6hrs. and i talked to timothy for the rest of the night. and like. i didnt do a thing! bet meisum is mugging so hard now. gah. what's happening to me? i cannot be like that!! please urge me to be motivated.

right. other than that. im also very tired of trying so hard to communicate with 2 persons. fine. from now onwards. i will not reply their smses neither would i send them smses. let go. i will. i know i can.

i shall nt think of pple who will make me fume. that's my new yr resolution! i can do it!

~sukai

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Sunday, February 25, 2007

IM DEAD MEAT!

first. is cos my mind... is filled with nothing else but one person. arh. and second is cos of this person i made another person so angry. im sooo sorry.. i really.. need some time to sort things out. i just need to clear my mind and perhaps after my exams i'll do some thorough thinking through ok? oh well. im not really prepared for my ct1.. soooo screwed up.. slacked alot today cos was watching tv.. wanted to tell my angel abt what happened but i realised.. he might be busy with his family since he only gets to go back on sat/sun. haix. i seriously need someone who can listen and tell me what should i do... life is just full of ironies and confusion.

~sukai

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Friday, February 16, 2007

downward sloping part of the tangent curve

sad. because... of someone. because of something i did.. maybe i should just blame myself for being so moody.. i shouldnt write it too explicitly in case the person reads it. anw, its so difficult to break into the layers of ice concealing your character.. ive tried. for a while i thought i succeeded.. but... now i realised all was in vain. and that hurts. you see... i know u are a nice person somehow... but... your attitude is so extreme,.. so much that i cant take it anymore because i see him in you. the person who screwed up my life.. i see that exactly in you. why? one moment you are here talking intimately and next you are gone. vanish without trace.. i hate that feeling of this queer friendship. its like... do you call that friendship in the first place? or am i just a passing wind in your life filled with goals and dreams waiting to be achieved on the large pasture of vast land? am i so insignificant? am i??

i really want to ask you this but i know if i do, you will be freaked out cos usually im "just another lame soul" to you... if u really see the other side of me.. i may freak you out cos of my philo nature. questioning of how things work and how life is like is just in me. so im sorry if in any way, my entry has offended people out there reading.

anw, since you are so much like someone i hate, why must i go down the forbidden path again and be nice to you, find out what happened and stuff when i know all i will get is silence. no reply. nothing! yet i somehow went down the path. i went all the way out to break the thick layer of ice concealing your true charac, like a blind fool and what do i get in return? i got a bad feeling its just you thinking that im such a disturbing pest. see... history repeated itself and i believe i should have learnt my lesson since the other time. but in the first place.. why did fate ever let 2 of such people ruin my life? or isit myself ruining my own life cos of my attitude? sometimes i guess i shouldnt care.. but can i?? can i not care about my past mistakes given that now fate has allowed me another chance to amend what went wrong? i dunno. im so tired. tired of the world. tired of you and him.

let me go please. i dont think i can ever withstand the agony once more if i fall and hit hard after taking the forbidden path. let me go.

~sukai +why must it be you?+

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

EXCITING WEEK or IMPENDING DOOM?

grrr.. i have so much work not done!! and im 1 wk plus away from common test! gosh. can i faint? hahaha oh well.. had a pretty fun week although life has been so busy for me.. esp for our cip project! i think once everybody sees us, they'll run away cos they know we'll pester them to buy postcards! LOL! haha oh right. and this week has some fun also esp shopping for valentine's day pressies! im broke! had a fun filled day with mei sum and pei xuan crapping our way through town. oh my.. pls don make me feel guilty. i know its nearing the common tests! ARGH.

yes yes. and im here to complain abt my DEAR HANDSOME AND COOL ANGEL who promised me to tag and what... the 10 reasons he gave!! u bluff meeee.. angel is so mean!! hahahah anw... i think u must be some lit student right.. 10 reasons in order for me to tell u my blog add.. u are good man. and where's my letter?????

yep.. sad to say. my mortal has to leave.. sighh.. so sad.. i dunno how can i encourage him and like cheer him up.. guess... i will just try.. oh right! im so happy!! tmr.. its the dayyyy. yay! happy v day everyone!

~sukai

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Friday, February 09, 2007

BLAST THE WEEKS AHEAD!!

gross disgusting and utterly horrified! this week was such a packed crazy rushing through tutorials and study like mad for tests week!!! the basic routine of everyday life is plainly about hw hw and more hw.. piling up like some Mount Fuji.. i thought bt timah hill was a feat alr and now... its getting higher!! and more difficult.. everything seems to be sooo screwed up in my life because i have no time to even relax! and even the slackest subj which is SUPPOSED to be pe.. is madness!!! ran 7 rounds and felt like fainting. how unfit can i get!!! hahahaha

yup.. this week had phy and chem tests! i totally screwed up my phy cos i didnt know how to start!!! so i guess its a fail.. @.@ then my chem.. was slightly better but still... you know.. im prone to careless errors.. and i realised.. i made one huge error. ahhaha so nvm. its over! but ... just when i thought i could rest for the weekends,... econs hw comes!!! one tsunami of econs hw.. and again.. i barely survived.. or at least i think my life would be soo miserable.. ahhaha geez.. at one hand im saying my life is so miserable.. but on the other hand.. im so happy! first i must tell the whole world that FROM THIS MOMENT ONWARDS, IM TOTALLY NUMB TOWARDS HIM. TOWARDS THE PERSON WHO KINDA SCREWED MY LIFE... but now.. who cares if he dont reply my smses. who cares! im so happy!! cos i seriously let go alr! it took me so longg..
oh right.. my angel is a CARBON COPY of my senior. totally alike. first, suck in chinese, second, love sports, third, loves to sleep, fourth from all boys sch, fifth, love music, six, smartie. HE GOT 7 POINTSSSS!!! like !!! omgggg!! hahahaha and he still say he is not smart!! box him la.. but yes not the attitude part being alike.. luckily.. i got a smart and niceee angel!!! so im practically on cloud nine! ahhahaha

yep yepp.. ahahha b.y was saying that i would get david kao lookalike but i said NOO la.. if i get him, i go jump man! hahaha it cannot be so coincidental rite!!!

hahahahah yepp. hopefully after another 6 mths or so of interaction with my angel we would become gd friends! like wilson ng and me!

~sukai

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;