my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER...

Thursday, October 28, 2004

bleah. today cris wasnt online again. and i'm seriously very confused. so many probable dates raymond*tavia coming. gosh. totally siao siao le. over them. *prays really hard* that cris would be coming online tmr with good news about when ray's coming. specific dates la! *thanks*
haiya.. why they(rm) so fated ? sick also sick at same time. somemmore almost same illness just that ray not that serious. *prays* that ray*mich will get well soon and take good care of their health! my heart ache lor when i see them liddat. stressed sia. but wad can i do mann? pray pray pray only. so sad. anywayz, hopefully ray would be fine and healthy after the checkup and hope he'll be able to have a good meeting with his fans in sg. hope* that wad i said will come true la.. if not hopes really dashed le. so sad sad sad. i think i goin crazy. even *jx* also not that mad abt htme like me. seriously i think i have to control my emotions sia. CONTROL. if not... sure kii ao(die) when next yr comes. shoosh.

hopefully will get to hear from my dear dear cris soon. if not... i dunno wadda do lor. dunch ya think its frustrating to hear that ray's coming but don getta see him? well well well... fate again. gosh. self consolation. siao le. i mean me. hahaha *prays hard* that iw ould be able to see them! jus hope cris can tell me details soon! thanks alot everyone(esp cris, jia xin, pooh and jess)!

*hk jus rocks my world!!! i hope i get my tvb calendar soon!!! hahaha ray and tavia is in the mth of april!!! yeah!! my b.day month somemore!!! hahaha siao le la. hahaha. k. control control. sad la still cos of **** .. saleena shd know wad. die. got *******s. sorry cant be too obvious. if not. kana bang. hahahaa. k la. let things come naturally and let fate do the work. i'm seriously too tired to handle all these le. inclu. ray stuff. but i have to cos its really v impt to me! so for now my priority would be O LEVELS CHIN (nov1) and RAY! yeappss! then **** thing. ... i'm hecking. serious. cant be bothered. hope can pass tho'. kae.. needa go. study for chin. bye bye guys! thanks for all those who made my day! =)

~purple gal~ ray when u coming?

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

slacked. jus now toked to cris and jia xin and yvonne. all about ray. haha. shiook. later 1140 gonna start studying chinese. shoosh. have loads more to go but heck. haiz i wanna do ray stuff but cos of chin o's then i'll have to study real hard lor. if not results come out then stressed again.

pooh* jie thanks a lot for wad u have said to me and encouraged me. thanks a millions. i will definitely do my best for the exams and jia youu!

jess*mei dont worry to much dear. its over le. what we have to do now is study hard and aim for the future. =) its alright *hugs* no worries. u'll be fine.

okies. goin offline now. cris went to bathe so i tink wont wait for her le. i wanna study. if not mum nagg again.hahaa. better PULL UP MY SOCKS.

~purple gal~ if u were here

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Life is a dream,
they tell
Those who dream of the banquet, wake up to lamentation and sorrow. Those who dream of lamentation and sorrow wake to join the hunt. While they dream, they do not know that they are dreaming. Some will even interpret the very dream they are dreaming; and only when they awake do they know it was a dream. By and by comes the great awakening, and then we find out that this life is really a great dream.
Fools think they are awake now, and flatter themselves they know -- this one is a prince and that one is a shepherd. What narrowness of mind! Confucius and you are both dreams; and I who say you are dreams -- I am but a dream myself.

-- Chuang Chou,

On Levelling All Things, translated by Lin Yutang, The Wisdom of China, p93 (1956) .
Chuang Chou was the philosopher who said he dreamt he was a butterfly, and when he awoke, wasn't sure if he were a butterfly dreaming it was Chuang Chou.

wad a nice para. i guess i'm feeling a little sad here.. wonder why. mixed emotions maybe. yesterday was still feeling happy.. and now.. down. down. down. haha. alrights i shall update later abt my fun outing with my *bao bei sista*! *jess* we rawk!

~purple gal~ singing a song of death

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Saturday, October 23, 2004

We're caught in a moment and I wont let it go
I am feeling deeper, losing my control
Involved in a feeling
Like the blink of an eye
And the silence it belongs to you and I

this whole para rocks! haha. wasted sia. he coming then most prob i wont getta go. then i saw his functions pix. so shiok lehs the fans there in hk, can stand near him. right in front role. best mann. so shiok. then i can too if he comes but... ~~~ dots. dun think i can even go. bleahh. wadever la. let fate decide.

~purple gal~ lost in the pool pf sorrow

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Friday, October 22, 2004

no news abt ray. he would be coming late november. time dat not confirmed. dunno if he's spending he's b.day here! hope he does!.

*prays that my report card would please my mum*
*prays that report card wont come so early. ray come sg first so i can fetch him*
*prays that i'll be able to go for ALL ray's functions*
*prays that i'll study ahrd for o levels*
*prays that i'll do well & concentrate*

+thanks+ really hope all these come true.! k, goin offline now. bye bye. have a great wkend!

~purple gal~ wad a life

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Thursday, October 21, 2004

finally. got back almost all papers. did not do well. sucks really. dropped a lot since mid year. nearly got a thrashing frm mum. luckily.. she in good mood. haiz. but still not pleased with my results lor. sec2 so good then now. haiz. i think i'll have to be less obsessed abt him la. yar. i promised mum. hahaa.. hopefully next yr no nice shows(hk) would come out la! then i wont watch and wont get obsessed. gosh. i have to learn to control my emotions.. if not.. i'll DEFINITELY DO VERY VERY BADLY FOR O LEVELS. okie. so i decided now that i shd start working on my sec3 foundation frm december onwards.. yupps. i'll just do that. gosh gosh.. the more i prob on my bad bad bad results the more i feel guilty cos' didnt really study as hard as sec2. dunno why lor. kinda sad but its over. jus *pray* that sucha thing wont happen during o levels.. if not.. i dunno how to face my parents and myself. haiz. now shd i just get over it or shd i dwell on what's wrong with me?!?!

i shd jus bear in mind that i do not live in a whole of my own. i have to consider others' feelings too. i have to rmb not to be so selfish and i have have have to study hard next year!!! if not.. i'll get skinned alive la!... okies so my resolution is to study hard make use of the holiday period to patch up what i hv not put effort in! yesh. that's it. i think i will hav to constantly remind myself abt this!... kk better not talk abt all these unlucky, bad stuff!..

ohhh! tmr will be a boring day at school so so i will jus hahaha! do wad i like. hehe.. niwae, i was thinking of mugging again. cos now i come back hme seldom do revision for chin. instead i'll watch tv, come online and do some slacko stuff... haha!alrights i goin offline le. today cris busy with tmr raymond's function! hope tmr they will have a wonderful day! =) k, by tmr shd know details le la! *prays* hopefully i'll get to go for ray's arrival and at least 3 functions! *thanks*

~purple gal~ u r my life

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Friday, October 15, 2004

exams over!! yeahhh! like wad kailing said i can dream dream abt him and go mad. hahahaha. ray rocks a lot la. i jus hope he's coming to singapore! theni will definitely go with jia xin and jess to scout for him righto? hahahaha all of us mad le la. exmas sure do v badly one cos everyday thinking abt when he coming. die. die. hahaha but nvm its over! now jus have to face the music! a maths was sucky. i had loads of careless mistakes. gosh... better not brood. if not gettin suicidal like corrine then sure die more. ahhahahaa.. k. i'm crapping. its great to hear that tavia is coming too altho i like mich and him more! hahaha jus found beautiful pix of mich!!! so happy. michelle + him = best. reallie. but so sad he act in more show with tavia. no fair!!!! hahahaha ok la. now me toking to saleena and showing her ray's pic. hahahah even she say he looks so boy boy. hahahaha yupps so happy when i see his pic mann! hahahaa

alrigths tmr goin out with sal first to watch movie then maybe gonna walk around to see stuff. yupps. then 3pm meeting jia xin! then she passing me raymond's cd!!!! yeahhh!! so so happy k. aiya. so obsessed le la. oh then on the 24 oct meeting jessica!! haahha we'll go mad again. abt mich esp and raymond!! hahaha we also goin out whole day frm 8 to 8pm shiokers goin to shop for clothes, buy cd, rent vcd and do all the hk sisters stuff right jess?! haiya so bad jess still have exams! if not we'll tok tok tok on the phone for whole day also no xian3 ah. hahaha still toking to saleena. showed her more ray pic. shiokers. ohh and waiting for pooh's call... aaahhhh..

okie, we're madders la. all crazy abt hk. crazy abt raymond esp. for me. hehehee. k, later goin out with mum to shop for clothes. no chocie. cos actually goin out with manda, hui qi, josh and andrew but they last min cancel cos manda and qiqi got stuff on. bleahhh. so i got stuck at home. yeappss! later goin out! goint own some more! so funn sia. altho yester went wit jassyn. but not enuff la.. ahhahaha... kk better stop bloggin!!! i wanna find mroe stuff abt him!!!!

~purple fairy~ do ray me

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Thursday, October 07, 2004

raymond raymond raymond rocks! hahaha. mad over him la. practically. yeahh so happy that soon i'll have the collection of all his songs! he can sing super duper well kae... anywayz, i hope 2007 will come quickly!! so me and *jess* can go hk* hopefully can see him* and other artistes la! but a bit fat hope here. but i dont think its worng to hope! anyway, today had lit paper. quite okie la. me cheng and chun spotted the ques and it really came out!!! so happy sia. aiya, but nothin could make me happier than tonight's EH*!!! LIJUN AND CHARCOAL BOY ROCKS!

i'm jus so mad about them. and yes, i jus came home frm school and here i am slackin. oh yar.. i jus went to listen to his* songs and hahaha.. he can so so so sing! okies, jus went to print some of his cool photos.. now my printer gonna out of ink le la. bu heck. yeekks.. 2pm le.. wasted like 2 hrs... shoosh. better go study le if not tonight cant watch EH*!!! ahhhh!!!

~Purple gal~ mich n him

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

physics exams tmr. sucks. i cant seem to concentrate so jus dropping by. gosh. i wonder if i would fail. anyway, *prays hard* i hope i won. arhs.

i better stop writing those stuff* here... no privacy at all... later someone* might even chance upon it. i'll be dead. geez. total exhaustion. spamed. no mood to continue.

~purple gal~ charcoal boy

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Saturday, October 02, 2004

= Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so.=

as the winter wind blows, i heard your call
i turned around and saw nothing but emptiness
your heart lies dead, a thousand miles
so when i turn around, i only see myself
standing under the cold winter moonlight.

~abstracted thoughts by me~

kinda feeling gloomy... dunch know why. perhaps because of someone* special.

i know its hard to say goodbye but i think its time, we parted. i think i might cry, i dunch know howwould you feel but... as you reach out for me for the last time, i know i still... love you.

whew. relief. blabber some might say but this is how i feel. how i wish he* was still there for me.

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;

Friday, October 01, 2004

woah its pretty late now and i'm still online. today was the WORSE day of my life. totally wasted it away. argh. i spent like 3 hrs watching tv. how fruitful. anywayz, i'm still stuck here doin chem. chapter 1. hahah wish me luck guys. i still have lit (1 book) and physics (5 chps) to go. bleah. acutally not only that la. jus don wanna mention more and stress myself up. whew. i hoped i can complete all that on time. planning to zzz at 130am a bit early hor. wadever. hopefully can finish chapter 2 of chem. ahem. *HOPEFULLY.. gee

i think i'll hafta work super hard now, since i wasted one day. gosh. stressful lehs. okie so b4 i log off, i'll jus goo goo gaa gaa about *EH* hehehe. michelle and CHARCOAL rocks!!! today was the nice nice part where she "fell" into his arms! hahaha. hohohoho. i'm so happy to see them like that. its jus to nice to think that they'll be together in the end! =) *screams! i jus loveee charcoal, he rawks. i love his song. his charac, everything la. hahahaa. cant wait for monday mann! so shiokers! i got addicted to *EH liaoz. die die. but nvm. don really care le la. hahahaa
k, said my piece. peace of mind now. blahh. sleep. shut up and mug.

~purple gal~ charcoal charcoal i love ya~

my.BEAUTIFUL DISASTER... ;